S03E004, Praying Together, Marriage Matter
In the fourth episode of this series of Marriage Matters, Andy B and Jo take a look at praying together as a couple. This seems to be the right thing to do but where does it say to pray together in the bible?
Andy and Jo as usual share their own experiences and note advice given to them by Grandparents who shared that couples who do things together, stay together and Jo concluded this to include prayer!
This week, Andy B steers us through this subject of praying together, by focusing our thoughts on the wisdom and guidance found in:
The Take Away
Andy
Andy noted that if we focus on God and we pray we are less likely to fall out and we will find peace – who doesn’t want that!
Jo
Jo was convinced by the end of this week’s discussion on praying together that it was something the bible encouraged because we are told to pray without ceasing.
Andy and Jo
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Transcript
[00:00:00] Andy B: Well, hello. Welcome to another marriage Matters Where Matters of the matter. Marriage matter because Marriage Matters. Haven't done that for a while. I had to run off cuz this. So we used two tablets and one of them was, was, well it was on 15%. It was fine, we'll get through. And then he went to 2%. And then it said about to switch off and we kind of need two tablets anyway. Shan't bore you with technical stuff.
[00:00:35] Andy B: But yes, welcome to Marriage Matters. My name's Andy B. This is Jo. This is Marriage Matters. Now, when were married in 96 I don't think that we foresaw ever not being married. But in our 25th wedding anniversary. It's 27 years later this year, you said let's start a podcast as a celebration of the fact that God's got us through 25 years.
[00:00:56] Andy B: Do you know what we feel now that we've got the right to speak, like we've got the right to have some [00:01:00] authority over marriage cuz you know what, we've been doing it for a quarter of a century and we feltlike we were just starting to have enough experience behind us to say, do you know what we can speak about marriage.
[00:01:09] Jo: Yeah.
[00:01:09] Andy B: So I always say this, this is about our experience. husband and wife before God married 26 years, 27 years this year. What has God taught us? What life lessons have we got? All of that stuff, that's Marriage Matters.
[00:01:21] Andy B: But if you wanna stay up to date with what we're doing, there's some exciting stuff. So best thing you can do is go to our website, BerryBunch.Org, go to the newsletter tab, silence the newsletter. It's a free weekly newsletter. It's not just bombarding you with stuff. We don't ask for money for a start. And also it's just designed to encourage, inspire, and uplift you before you even get into the newsletter. And then we just let you know what we've been doing, what latest resources we've got for you to use for free.
[00:01:48] Andy B: That's the newsletter.
[00:01:49] Andy B: The second thing is Marriage Matters now has its own podcast channel which is very exciting. So Marriage Matters are on Instagram. You can get the link, we'll put it in the notes. And [00:02:00] also we're on Instagram, so you can keep up to date with all that we do.
[00:02:03] Andy B: Wow.
[00:02:03] Jo: Excellent. There's so much going on, isn't there?
[00:02:05] Andy B: Yes.
[00:02:05] Jo: So yeah, marriage Matters is all about marriage. It's about encouraging us to keep going. We've been on this journey for over 25 years, 27 years this year. And so this is episode four, isn't it of Marriage Matters. Four, three.
[00:02:19] Andy B: Episode four.
[00:02:20] Jo: This is four.
[00:02:20] Andy B: Episode four.
[00:02:22] Jo: And we're always running things to talk about. And this one we thought, cause we have a theme every time, and this one's about Praying Together. Now the interesting thing is there isn't anything in the Bible that tells you to pray with your spouse.
[00:02:34] Andy B: There is not.
[00:02:35] Jo: And we don't find any couples in there sort of praying. You know, we have the one where Daniel's praying and, and Jesus went to, to, to pray and asked His followers to pray. But we haven't got any specific around couples.
[00:02:46] Andy B: We may be wrong. If you've got one, let us know. You can let us know by going to the BerryBunch.Org, looking at the Contact us and you can send us a message, if you think there is one. We haven't found one. Here's how we look at marriage and prayer.
[00:02:57] Andy B: If prayer is critical to [00:03:00] marriage and you can't pray, your marriage will fall apart. That doesn't sound like a very good thing. So actually what we are saying is not that it's critical, but a bit like baptism, or going to church, these are really good, valuable things which will add to your life. They will add resources, encourage and uplift you. In the same way prayer, whilst not critical to a marriage, is only gonna enhance. Enhancement. That's what I was looking at.
[00:03:23] Andy B: So these are things that are gonna build up, like going to church, not critical to being a Christian, but it's kind of an important thing. It's a really valuable part. Not going to church doesn't stop you from being a Christian any more than not being baptized will stop you from being a Christian or experiencing God's love. However, it adds and it enhances, and it will increase the value of your marriage and your ability to sustain that marriage.
[00:03:44] Jo: Yeah. I must admit, I, I remember asking your, your Nan when we were, before we got married was, what's the top tip for staying married? Because they were married, they celebrated their Ruby anniversary.
[00:03:54] Andy B: Ruby, which is a long time.
[00:03:56] Jo: Yeah. Many, many years. So you know, we asked them and they said doing [00:04:00] things together, that's what really helped them to stay on target, to be, to stay married for all those years.
[00:04:06] Andy B: Shall I give the advice?
[00:04:07] Jo: Oh, go on then.
[00:04:07] Andy B: So it's play together.
[00:04:09] Jo: Yeah.
[00:04:10] Andy B: Eat together.
[00:04:11] Jo: Yeah.
[00:04:12] Andy B: Live together. It's kind of an obvious one, but hey. Read together, basically holiday together. Anything you do together, the more you do together, the more strength you'll have in your marriage.
[00:04:23] Jo: Yeah, so that, that goes for prayer. If you're a Christian and you pray regularly, then doing that with your spouse will, like we say, enhance the marriage, will help the marriage, and we can pray together for all kinds of things, for each other, for our family.
[00:04:38] Jo: With BerryBunch, we actually have family prayer time, and so we encourage prayer in the family. But the other thing is, if you are praying as a couple, then you are encouraging your family, aren't you? You're, you are, you're, you're a witness. You are showing them that that's, that's important as well.
[00:04:53] Andy B: I love the stories of, and it's usually this sort of thing, but the, the children come down in the morning and they see their mum. [00:05:00] Maybe it's a bit older generation. But they come down, see their mum with a Bible on her lap praying in front of the fire before they get up in the morning, before breakfast happens, before school. I love stories like that because what an example to the children of what is
[00:05:11] Andy B: important. I've got one scripture which came to my mind. We didn't have one when we started. Actually, this is from Philippians 4 chapter 4. So Philippians is in the New Testament, the last third of the scripture, quite near, towards the end and it says this.
[00:05:24] Andy B: Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, thank him for all he has done.
[00:05:31] Andy B: Now, as we say, prayer is not critical to your marriage. Okay? It's really super important. It's gonna add value, but if you don't pray, your marriage can still thrive and do well. But sometimes, without prayer, maybe it goes into survival mode too often. So actually prayer is a really good enhancement. But the Bible tells us to pray about everything, whatever it is, take it to the Lord in prayer.
[00:05:52] Andy B: Well, if you are married and you are not two people now, you're not two halves. You are one person, made up of two parts, not two [00:06:00] halves, one person made of two parts, surely you should pray together.
[00:06:03] Jo: Yeah. You know what you're saying there prayer isn't critical. You mean, you mean it's not, prayer together is critical because
[00:06:08] Andy B: Yes
[00:06:08] Jo: I'm thinking prayer is criticalin marriage.
[00:06:10] Andy B: I may have missed out a word or two.
[00:06:12] Jo: Yeah. So praying, you know, we have so many people praying, you know, when you get married, everyone stands up and says, Yeah, we're gonna like, support these guys to, to stay married and, and to support them in, in their journey. And so prayer is critical, isn't it to, to, you know, individually. But I think what you're saying is not critical that we pray together.
[00:06:28] Andy B: That's what I meant to say.
[00:06:29] Jo: I hope so. Yeah. Yeah. And, and you're right. But it does absolutely help, you know stay together, don't they?
[00:06:37] Andy B: Let me read this next part of Philippians. So we've said.
[00:06:39] Andy B: Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need. Thank you for all he's done.
[00:06:44] Andy B: That's verse 6. Verse 7 of Philippians chapter 4.
[00:06:47] Andy B: Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your heart and minds as you live in Jesus Christ.
[00:06:56] Andy B: Well, that surely must be a good thing within a marriage context as well. [00:07:00] So actually the idea of praying is good. Even if it's not critical to pray together, it is good to pray cuz you need to have a relationship with God. So that means communication. Prayer is just a way of saying we're talking to God. And actually praying together is good.
[00:07:14] Andy B: Praying before the start of the day, praying at the end of the day, these are good things that are gonna enhance your marriage.
[00:07:20] Jo: Yeah. Cause there will be times, I suppose, if you, if you are married to someone who isn't a Christian or maybe, and like you say, you're away, you know, if you're away for periods of time, it's, but you can do that over the internet, over the, you know, the phone and things. But it also might be that sometimes the other person doesn't want to pray or is not in a good place or, you know, some there are tough times aren't there, that can cause us to not be quite so keen to pray.
[00:07:41] Andy B: We'll come on to why I generally don't pray if Jo does, later. There is actually a very good reason for that, which actually fits in with marriage and, and getting closer. But yeah, marriage, this is what we're talking about. This is what we wanna look at.
[00:07:54] Andy B: If there's topics you wanna look at, you can get in touch and let us know. But we talk about marriage because we are passionate about it, cuz [00:08:00] God's excited about it. Cuz a good, strong marriage builds a really great family.
[00:08:03] Andy B: We know not everybody has the same experience. We know there's single parents and all the rest of it, but we are looking at how do we enhance marriage? What is God's best for a husband and wife in the world today. What is God's plan? And that's what we look at. That's how he says it, because that's who we are. We're a husband and wife, and that's what we look at.
[00:08:19] Andy B: We'll be back in a moment,
[00:08:27] Steven: So endurance. Wait, no, first, I'm Steven.
[00:08:30] Nathan: I'm Nathan.
[00:08:31] Steven: And we're brothers, actually.
[00:08:33] Nathan: Yeah, in case you hadn't noticed.
[00:08:35] Steven: Yeah.
[00:08:36] Nathan: I mean, I know the much more masculine physique on this side may have thrown you off.
[00:08:42] Steven: Yeah, I'm actually older.
[00:08:44] Nathan: Yeah.
[00:08:44] Steven: Taller, stronger, fitter.
[00:08:47] Nathan: Maybe.
[00:08:49] Steven: Oh, definitely.
[00:08:51] Nathan: Anyway, that's not the point of endurance. It's Spiritual training, not physical.
[00:08:54] Steven: Yeah. Yep.
[00:08:55] Nathan: Not that we, obviously we don't compete that much.
[00:08:58] Steven: Nor spiritually. You shouldn't compete [00:09:00] spiritually either.
[00:09:00] Nathan: No.
[00:09:01] Steven: No.
[00:09:01] Nathan: But I'm better than you
[00:09:05] Steven: Dunno what to say to that.
[00:09:06] Nathan: There is no, no answer.
[00:09:08] Steven: So the point of endurance is all about one
[00:09:11] Nathan: Taking the mick out of each other.
[00:09:13] Steven: All about one Timothy 4 verse 8,, which says physical training is good but training for godliness is much better. And so it was an idea, which I think it was my idea actually wasn't it?
[00:09:25] Nathan: It was a joint effort. There's no I in team.
[00:09:28] Steven: Yeah, so it was definitely my idea.
[00:09:29] Nathan: Yeah.
[00:09:30] Steven: And the idea being that we have to. Well, I was challenged cuz basically I enjoy exercise. I was doing lots of weight training, lots of running, and I was getting a bit obsessed about it.
[00:09:40] Nathan: You were failing to train spiritually?
[00:09:43] Steven: Yeah, yeah. You could say that I was idolizing physical fitness rather than,
[00:09:46] Nathan: So we created Endurance to help him learn better how to balance spiritual and physical training.
[00:09:52] Steven: Yeah, basically. Okay,.
[00:09:56] Nathan: Because I've already cracked it.
[00:09:58] Steven: No, [00:10:00] no,
[00:10:00] Nathan: No?
[00:10:02] Steven: You got a long way to go yet. So go check us out.
[00:10:06] Nathan: I can see a light, the end of the tunnel. I mean, you, you're way behind.
[00:10:16] Steven: Cut.
[00:10:19] Jo: This is the part of Marriage Matters where we Go Deeper, and look more deeply into the subject of praying together praying together as a couple.
[00:10:34] Andy B: It's a bit like you've gone snorkeling and now we've got the aqualung on and we're going deeper.
[00:10:38] Jo: Yes. So we scratched the surface in the introduction where we decided there wasn't.
[00:10:43] Andy B: Can you scratch the surface of water? I suppose if it's ice.
[00:10:46] Jo: Yeah.
[00:10:46] Andy B: But if it's ice you're not gonna go deep sea diving, are you?
[00:10:48] Jo: No.
[00:10:48] Andy B: I'll shut up..
[00:10:49] Jo: We, yeah, we, we looked at the fact that it isn't specifically stated in Scripture that couples need to pray. But we found well, you found a good piece of scripture that kind of gets [00:11:00] us to pray at all times.
[00:11:02] Andy B: Yeah. We, we've said that marriage together isn't you know, isn't something that has to have prayer together. We're gonna tease you a little bit, but we'll, we'll come back onto why I generally don't pray when Jo does. It's actually a very positive thing! But let me just carry on from Philippians 4 verse 6.
[00:11:18] Andy B: I'm using the New Living Translation which is quite good if English isn't your first language. NLT is a very, very good version of scripture. And we've said so far
[00:11:27] Andy B: Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank you for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
[00:11:41] Andy B: Can you imagine having an argument if His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus, is kind of happening. There's a thought.
[00:11:50] Andy B: Now, let me move on to the bit that you are probably most familiar with. and this is one of the things. I think sometimes we know a piece of Scripture and we kind of miss what comes before and after, because we know this one, and [00:12:00] you'll probably recognize this one. It says this, Philippians 4, 8
[00:12:03] Andy B: And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, honourable, right, and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me, everything you heard from me and saw me doing, then the God of peace will be with you.
[00:12:21] Andy B: Now, if we apply that into marriage, there wouldn't be an argument. Ever. The problem is that we kind of put this stuff down, we forget about it, and we get a bit heated and we forget that, you know, His peace will guard your hearts and mind as you live in Christ Jesus.
[00:12:35] Andy B: Because we allow the anxiety. We wanna win. I'm gonna have this argument. I'm right. All that stuff gets in the way. And we've talked about this in many previous episodes, that that is actually evil. There's no gentle way around that one. That comes from a selfish heart. So actually, if we are praying together as a couple, all that can do is enhance our relationship.
[00:12:54] Andy B: I mean, yes, there's a time to stop praying and to do. Let's pray about what we do next is only gonna get you so [00:13:00] far. But actually prayer is only gonna enhance you because what it does is it puts your collective mind onto Jesus Christ.
[00:13:07] Jo: Yes. It makes me think about, you know, often people say, why is it that, you know, we can get very excited about a football match or, you know, we cheering and jumping up and down with excitement. But then perhaps not showing the same enthusiasm for God and, and being at church and, and, and loving God. And, and it doesn't make you think. You think, oh, you know, do I get passionate, excited about different things?
[00:13:28] Jo: And, and so coming, coming back to prayer that we should be passionate about talking to God, spending time with God. And, and if, if you know you want, you spend time with your spouse going to a football match or doing different things, then surely you'd want to spend time. Talking to God together, wouldn't you? It's a, it's not an activity, but you know, it's a thing that you do that's important to you. And if prayer is important, then you would want to do that with your spouse.
[00:13:52] Andy B: If you invest in something, then you, you value that something.
[00:13:56] Andy B: There's another scripture that talks about how by your will [00:14:00] you be known. It's one of the scriptures that really speaks to me in everything because what I do, what my actions are, speaks of my heart, my inner thoughts.
[00:14:09] Andy B: But what I do, well, that's more evidence of, of what's really going on. And the thing is we can say good things. We can say sorry, not meaning. We can say we like that person and and detest them, but our actions are much more than our words because our actions are us actually doing something, and living our what we really believe in thinking ourselves.
[00:14:27] Andy B: If you are investing in, I dunno, investing in your house by painting the walls, or redoing the wood, then your house is gonna increase in value.
[00:14:35] Andy B: If you invest in your marriage through prayer, through spending time together, reading God's word, praying, and all the rest of it, your marriage is gonna increase in value, metaphorically speaking. But actually not just metaphorically, it really will increase.
[00:14:49] Jo: Yeah, and we, we, I remember before we got married we would do bible studies together and we would pray together. Over the times it's sort of got up and down, up and down with different prayers. But [00:15:00] when we've really been needing to seek God, we've got down on our hands and needs at the, the bedside. You at the one side of me at the other, I, I know we've done that from time to time.
[00:15:07] Andy B: Many times.
[00:15:08] Jo: Yeah. We tend to pray together, throw, you know, throw all the, all the sort of issues of the day when we've got time in the mornings. But our evening prayers are a little bit kind of Lord, help us have a good sleep. Amen. it's a bit. We could improve. We couldn't spend a bit more time on those prayers maybe.
[00:15:25] Andy B: Yeah. So I've been talking about why it is I don't pray when Jo does.
[00:15:28] Andy B: Now, this isn't cause I'm lazy. I used to pray a lot. The pair of us would both pray, and pray, and pray. Whether that was kneeling by our bedside whether that was because we got a list and we worked through it. Whether that's because we are not gonna see each other for a few days. Prayer in the middle of making love, that's a good one. So prayer needs to be in, in amongst everything.
[00:15:48] Andy B: There is, should be no part of your marriage where prayer is excluded at all!
[00:15:54] Andy B: But the reason why I don't pray much when Joe does pray is because, over 26 years, nearly 30 [00:16:00] years of relationship before we got married, you know what, a few years before that, so we're coming up to 27 years of marriage. We knew each other for a couple of years. Boyfriend girlfriend.
[00:16:09] Andy B: We pray because we chat. So we talk and then Jo prays and I just say Amen. And then I say, there's nothing I can add. If I, if I pray, I'm literally gonna say things the way you pray them.
[00:16:20] Andy B: So, actually, the reason why I don't pray is not because I'm not praying, but because we have prayed and I just use Jo's lips. I just use Jo's voice.
[00:16:29] Jo: Yeah. But we also ask each other to pray. So if we've got an ailment, you know, if you've got a bad back, and you'll say, Shall I pray. Or I'll say, can I pray for you? And so there are times, specific reasons. Or friends will ask us, you know, they're going through a bad time and we'll stop and pray together as well, won't we?
[00:16:48] Andy B: Yeah, there's lots of reasons to pray. There's lots of opportunities to pray. Touch on the making love thing, it's a good time to pray. If we can't pray, then in our most intimacy, most independent moment as a couple, [00:17:00] then we're excluding God from that. And actually we want God into every single area of our life. Whether it's finances, buying the groceries for the week, getting the car insurance sorted for the car.
[00:17:10] Andy B: We want, surely, God, to be in every single part of our life. And the more we normalize that prayer, the easier it becomes and the less have to pray cuz we have a long chat. Jo will pray and I just say Amen.
[00:17:22] Jo: Well, to be fair, Scripture tells us to pray without ceasing.
[00:17:25] Andy B: Yes.
[00:17:25] Jo: So going back, circling back, and saying there isn't anything in Scripture actually that covers everything, doesn't it?
[00:17:31] Andy B: Hey, we've found the scripture, pray without ceasing.
[00:17:33] Jo: Pray without ceasing. So basically we, we should be praying.
[00:17:35] Andy B: So if you're not praying together, you should be, but it's not critical. This is important. It's good to pray. It's great to pray. It's gonna enhance you, but it isn't critical, unless there's a scripture I've missed that says, husbands wise, pray. But I haven't seen that one.
[00:17:49] Andy B: There's scriptures about all sorts of things to do with husbands and wives, but not that one.
[00:17:52] Jo: Well, we go to church and pray as a body.
[00:17:56] Andy B: Yes.
[00:17:57] Jo: There'll be certain, we'll go to prayer meetings and [00:18:00] things like that. So it would seem odd not to pray together, wouldn't it? That we'd go and pray in church. And we'd go and pray in small groups, but then we wouldn't pray together at home. That doesn't seem right does it.
[00:18:08] Andy B: It would seem a little bit weird, wouldn't it?
[00:18:09] Jo: Yeah.
[00:18:10] Andy B: So the takeaway's coming up next after this.
[00:18:19] Jo: You'll never guess what Dave the Dog has his own show. And it's called Dave Unleashed.
[00:18:26] Steven: Are we sure about this?
[00:18:27] Jo: Well, I'm gonna be there on hand. I'm gonna help him.
[00:18:33] Steven: What, what may him are we to expect?
[00:18:35] Jo: Well, to keep him on track he's got Story Time, he's got Art Time, so you know, and I'll be there to help him.
[00:18:43] Steven: What could possibly go wrong?
[00:18:59] Andy B: And we are [00:19:00] back. All the takeaway. I want food now. Always. So, let me read this. Let me start this segment with a bit of scripture. Philippians 4 chapter, sorry. Philippians chapter 4 verses 6 through 9. And we've been reading this through tonight, through this episode. Go away silly phone.
[00:19:18] Andy B: Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need. Thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds everything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, what is honourable, right, and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me. Everything you heard from me and saw me doing, then the God of peace will be with you. [00:20:00]
[00:20:00] Andy B: And if we do that, arguments wouldn't happen. Why do arguments happen? Well, James tells us it's because of selfish ambition and greed. But actually if we focus on God in that context together as a married couple, we, we couldn't do that.
[00:20:15] Jo: Oh, very nice.
[00:20:17] Andy B: Yeah. I was reminded of fight naked. It's something that Fierce Marriage, another blog talks about. And if you fought naked, you wouldn't fight, would you? Because if you stood there starkers in your birthday suit, you're not gonna argue with each other, because it's just not gonna happen.
[00:20:34] Andy B: And actually there's an, an element of being naked before God, metaphorically, perhaps physically. There's an, there's an element of that which actually is really valid because what happens is when we are naked, before God vulnerable, and vulnerable with each other, actually we wouldn't want to argue. Cuz if I see Jo as God's daughter, you wouldn't want, that's the dad. You don't wanna upset in it. Let's be honest!
[00:20:56] Jo: Yes. So the takeaway is where we just sort of [00:21:00] draw the episode to a conclusion on, based on what we've been talking about and what we would take away. And I'm trying to think about what I would take away. I'm just thinking there isn't anything specifically in scripture, I started off thinking, but actually I'm thinking pray without ceasing.
[00:21:16] Jo: I feel like the Bible is telling me to pray with you, with, with my husband, with our spouses.
[00:21:23] Andy B: I'm glad you remembered on your husband.
[00:21:24] Jo: Well, yeah. No, no. You know I know there's certain things, you know, there aren't spec specific things about not gambling and things like that. You know, there are things that are not specific. But you, you, you read the scripture and, and you think about the principles and, and you just know.
[00:21:40] Jo: I mean, Abraham and Sarah must have prayed together. You know, they would've been praying to God for a son, weren't they? Or a child? You know, you, you just kind of, you don't get any scripture about it, but you think they must have done, mustn't they?
[00:21:52] Andy B: Well, you, you kind of assume so.
[00:21:54] Jo: Yeah.
[00:21:56] Andy B: Mary and Joseph, you'd like to think, prayed, you know, with Jesus, son of [00:22:00] God and all that, it's, yeah. But there's no reference of it. And that's, that lack of reference is important. But everything needs to be held in the balance of scripture because actually the Bible talks a lot about how we need to to, to, to focus on Christ, to have a relationship with, to develop that.
[00:22:15] Andy B: We talk about the spiritual gifts. What are they? That is a, an outpouring of the Holy Spirit on earth through our relationship with God. And as we converse with God, as we have a relationship with Him, then the holy Spiritual will bless us with Spiritual Gifts that will increase spontaneously.
[00:22:29] Andy B: In the same way, if we pray together as a couple, if we invest into that part of our marriage, and it can be awkward, there are times when I don't wanna pray. There are times when I'm tired. But, actually, some of the most beneficial parts of our marriage come from you. Me opposite sides of the bed. Kneeling before God, kneeling before each other, effectively on the bed and praying through a book. We have a, a book of things we pray for. And you know, when we do that, it, it changes things cuz that's petitioning, repetition.
[00:22:56] Jo: Yes, it's, it's also the power and [00:23:00] influence and impact we have in our prayers because we're a team and if you have a family, if you have children then, you know, we want the best for our children. And so you think we'd want to be praying for them and for the best for them. I know you go in at most nights, don't you pray over the children on, on your own. But sometimes when we're a bit concerned about them, we'll both go in won't we pray over them?
[00:23:21] Andy B: Yeah. If they're feeling a bit ill, a bit low, a bit tired, whatever. Or they've got a worry they've shared during the day. Yeah. We'll go and pray, pray with them some more. So we're praying with our children. We should pray with our spouse! Surely.
[00:23:32] Jo: Yeah.
[00:23:33] Andy B: That would make sense. So what's your takeaway?
[00:23:36] Jo: Well I think the Bible is telling us to pray together as a couple, because it's saying pray without ceasing,
[00:23:43] Andy B: But, not directly.
[00:23:44] Jo: But not, yeah. So but then it, yeah.
[00:23:47] Andy B: It's like the Bible doesn't say that gambling is wrong, but there's so much in the Bible that very clearly, quickly shows you gambling is wrong. It doesn't have to say that.
[00:23:54] Jo: What's that scripture? All things are permissible.
[00:23:57] Andy B: Yes.
[00:23:57] Jo: But not all things are beneficial.
[00:23:59] Andy B: [00:24:00] Yes.
[00:24:00] Jo: So I think it's one of those situations where you read deeper into the Scripture you'll, you'll realise that, actually, the idea of praying together is a good thing. And not that I didn't think it was
[00:24:12] Andy B: Okay. So I'm trying to think of an awkward question for you 'cos we haven't done that for a while.
[00:24:15] Jo: Okay.
[00:24:15] Andy B: What, what's the, what, what's the hardest time when you've had to pray for me?
[00:24:23] Jo: I can't think specifically, but probably when we're in, we've had some sort of argument maybe.
[00:24:28] Andy B: But how does prayer then change your heart, your mood, your mood?
[00:24:33] Jo: Yeah. I suppose I take this issues to God in prayer and, and, and my perspective changes. Yeah.
[00:24:39] Andy B: And I think that last part, that's, that's the key to the prayer. Why do we pray together? Not because it fixes stuff, but actually it fixes us. God works through our prayers to Him, as we humble our hearts to God, it changes our heart. And if we are humbling our heart together.
[00:24:53] Andy B: Again, we're not too halves, we're two parts of one person, that's the scriptural basis. When we do it in that context [00:25:00] things happen and it changes our heart. And we've prayed for some amazing things to happen and they haven't. And we've barely prayed and things have happened. but actually it's that time together to pray, which has been invaluable because it draws us closer to God, together. And that's the key.
[00:25:16] Andy B: So let me, let me finish with this scripture then. Because this seems to be rather relevant today. Again, Philippians, oh, what's that going on? Philippians 4, 6 to 8.
[00:25:26] Andy B: Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need. Thank him for all he has done then you will experience God's peace, which try exceeds anything we can understand. He's peace will God, your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, honourable, and right, and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me, everything you heard from me and saw me doing. [00:26:00] And the God of peace will be with you.
[00:26:02] Andy B: And if you want that God of peace to be with you, there's a caveat, there's a condition. It isn't just God's peace happening. it's our efforts in service of God, in worshiping Him in, you know, obeying Him, in trying to be with him in that relationship. In doing all those things, then that peace of God will come. And in our marriages it's the same thing.
[00:26:22] Jo: Good stuff.
[00:26:22] Andy B: Shall we finish there?
[00:26:23] Jo: Yeah.
[00:26:24] Andy B: Thanks for joining us to another episode of Marriage Matters. We'll be back in two weeks, fortnight. Every other week we come back and yes, you can check out the podcast cuz it'll all be on there. I'm, I'm loading the episode slowly. Yeah. But every episode will be on there so you can follow a specific Marriage Matters podcast, and the specific Marriage Matters Instagram channel.
[00:26:42] Jo: Wow.
[00:26:43] Andy B: Thanks for joining us. Bye for now.[00:27:00]