S02E009, Money Matters, Part 2, Marriage Matters
Introduction
Andy B and Jo return to Money Matters in Marriage Matters this week – matters about Money that matters because Money matters in Marriage, just like matters about marriage matters!
Jo starts with reviewing Part 1 and highlights how finances have been a top reason for arguments in marriages and reminding us that there are around 2000 scripture verses relating to money – so must be important!
There were some muddled matters in this week’s Marriage Matters, but in the end Andy B delivered on some scriptures to help us:
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Hebrews 13:5-6
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Proverbs 23:4
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Luke 12:24
The Meaty Section
Andy and Jo chew through some difficult topics and try and make sense of it all.
#RealTalk and #RealLife is just what we do!
Tips and Resources
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The Power of a Praying Wife – Stormie Omartian – chapter on finances
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The Power of a Praying Husband – Stormie Omartian- chapter on finances
The Take Away
Andy – Andy was reminded of the importance to always ensure faith was a part of our financial planning as Christians. We simply shouldn’t ever approach our finances, without also remembering that God is interested in both our needs, and our provision.
Jo – Having been brought up to value money more than is wise, Jo was struck by the fact that God has never failed her, and how God cares for even the sparrows – as the bible reminds us.
Andy and Jo
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Transcript
Andy 0:28
Well, hello, and welcome to yet another edition, episode, outing, thing of Marriage Matters with me, Andy.
Jo 0:38
And me, Jo.
Andy 0:39
You're very welcome to join us, as ever. If you want to stay up to date with all the we're doing, then you can go to the website, www.BerryBunch.family, and you can sign up to the Newsletter and you'll never miss a thing. So what are we doing today, Jo Jo?
Jo 0:52
Well, in Marriage Matters, we promised we do part two of Money Matters. Because basically, we couldn't cover it in one session, 'cos it is a big subject, isn't it, finances.
Andy 1:02
We went over time didn't even get close to what we were wanting to talk about.
Jo 1:05
No. And so quick review of Part 1 was we basically said that finances can be one of the biggest reasons why we argue in marriage, can cause a lot of problems, a lot of strife, a lot of stress. We talked about, what else did we talk about? We covered the fact that there was about 2,000 references
Andy 1:24
Quite a few!
Jo 1:24
to money in the Bible, but we weren't looking at those specifically, but it just goes to show how important having the right attitude and heart towards money is. And then obviously, pre preparing for marriage. I think they cover that, don't they in marriage preparation, looking at finances and what you're going to do.
Andy 1:43
What are your goals, what are your thoughts how do you want to spend your money, who's going to look after the money. All that kind of stuff.
Jo 1:48
And I think the first part was more about the mechanics of money. We, we gave some real advice around links to looking after your money. But we wanted more this time to concentrate on the relationship and, and how, and our attitude and our heart together
Andy 2:01
Real Talk.
Jo 2:02
Real Talk. Yeah.
Andy 2:03
Real Stories.
Jo 2:04
Now if you remember last time, we talked about how we were swapping over. So we've taken in turns doing finances. We've found it's easier that way. And I've taken over just in the last sort of month or so isn't it? And we were gonna talk as well about how that's going.
Andy 2:17
Which may not be what you expect, I can promise you. Yes, so, that's what's coming up today. What does money do? How does it affect us? How should we spend our money? How should we spend our money as a couple? What does God think about all of that stuff? Yeah, we're gonna be looking at all of that today.
Jo 2:33
Marriage Matters. Money Matters. Part 2.
Andy 2:36
Marriage Matters. Money Matters, Part 2. There's your tongue twister for the day. But what's even more exciting is we've got some more adverts. A new one. So, if you'd like a little bit of Dave, and we like a lot of Dave, here's a little bit of Dave.
Jo 2:57
You'll never guess what., Dave, the dog has his own show. And it's called Dave Unleashed.
Steven 3:04
Are we sure about this?
Jo 3:05
Well, I'm gonna be there on hand. I'm going to help him.
Steven 3:11
What, what mayhem are we to expect?
Jo 3:14
Well, to keep him on track. He's got Story Time. He's got Art Time. So, you know, and I'll be there to help him.
Steven 3:21
What could possibly go wrong?
Jo 3:40
Fantastic, Dave with his own show. Awesome!
Andy 3:43
I was a bit quick on the button again.
Jo 3:45
Were you?
Andy 3:45
Yeah, sorry. Okay. Cut him off in his prime.
Jo 3:47
Oh, poor Dave. We should get Dave on the show do you think? And talk money matters or something like that?
Andy 3:55
I'm not sure I want Dave doing Marriage Matters, do you?
Jo 3:58
No! So, Money Matters, Part 2. Yeah, we're talking about, yeah, where we should be. And we obviously we've got some scriptures that we've picked out to help us 'cos it's about, like in anything in marriage it's about the heart, it's about our attitude, isn't it? And it's about doing these things together? And how much more so with finances!
Andy 4:19
Ooh, ooh. I remembered my little line.
Jo 4:21
Yeah.
Andy 4:21
Marriage isn't about compromise, it's about sacrifice!
Jo 4:24
Yes,you did, didn't you.
Andy 4:25
We finished the last episode that way, actually.
Jo 4:27
Yeah.
Andy 4:28
And I think that's probably a lot of what we're going to be looking at today. Because the thing is, you can compromise all these things that you think and feel. And, yeah, there's an element of compromise, perhaps. But, compromise has its limitations. Because you can only give so much compromis. You give of yourself and maybe you give away parts of you that you shouldn't. But sacrifice is about giving all of you, and investing everything you have. And, when we, I'll precursor this session with something we keep on coming back to, because that's the point of marriage from our perspective, which is that our marriage, our husband, wife relationship should be reflective of our own individual relationship with Jesus Christ. Because, although Jo is my bride, I am the bride of Christ. So, very much symbolic. What does that mean? Well, it means that Jesus didn't sacrifice a bit of Himself. And I don't give a part of myself to Him. I commit to Him as He's already committed to the whole world and to me. So I think as we're looking at money, that, that kind of precurses, precursor, as in bit before, not curses, like you know, bad things. It's a precursor to all that, because actually how we look at money that's going to affect your friendship, your relationship, your marriage, your ministry, your mission, God's purpose in your life, the peace in your home. It's gonna have an effect on all of that stuff.
Jo 5:40
What does it say where your heart is, your money is? Or where your momey is
Andy 5:44
Did you write it down?
Jo 5:45
No, I didn't write that one down. There's a scripture about that anyway.
Andy 5:48
Just fill for a minute and I'll try and find it.
Jo 5:51
Yeah, as I say, there's absolutely loads of scripture on money, and we couldn't possibly cover them all. But they're all, they're all the same principle, isn't it. That if we get it right around how we feel about money, and we both get that right in marriage, then, then we should be on the right track. Always again, having God at the centre and going to God and asking Him how we should spend our money, how we should function. How I mean, there's some great tools out there on how you manage your money, but again, you know, God is the great financer, isn't He? He's our great provider.
Andy 6:24
I can't find the Scripture. So what the Scripture says is 'where your money is, where your heart is, or there your treasure will be'. So where your treasure is that's where your heart is. So what are you
Jo 6:32
Yeah, that's the heart.
Andy 6:33
focusing on?
Jo 6:34
That's the heart of the matter isn't it. The scriptures that we do have was Hebrews 3, 5 to 6 wasn't it? That was the first one.
Andy 6:41
You gave me Hebrews 23 something.
Jo 6:43
No, Hebrews 3, 5 to 6.
Andy 6:46
Not 23?
Jo 6:47
No that's proverbs 23, 4.
Andy 6:49
Oh Hebrews. Going well today.
Jo 6:53
Yeah, I know we're having some struggles here. Is it? Is it the picture or something? There's technical problems, technical problems, are we allowed to use that?
Andy 7:00
No, it was technical problems. Okay, so we control the computer in a certain way, and they very helpfully made all this amazing streamline much betterness, and it broke.
Jo 7:09
Oh, oh well, nevermind.
Andy 7:10
So I had to unbreak it.
Jo 7:11
It's thrown us out then really, let's face it
Andy 7:13
It threw me out. So, Hebrews 3?
Jo 7:16
Yeah. 5 to 6.
Andy 7:17
Are you sure?
Jo 7:21
Well, you gave that to me earlier didn't you. You said that was what you wanted. No? Is it not fitting? Doesn't fit?
Andy 7:27
No, it doesn't fit.
Jo 7:28
Try Proverbs 23, 4 then. That probably fits then, doesn't it?
Andy 7:32
Hebrews ?
Jo 7:32
So that's what you could do. Go off and find these
Andy 7:35
Yes
Jo 7:35
helpful scriptures.
Andy 7:37
Which one?
Jo 7:38
You said Proverbs 23, 4?
Andy 7:40
Oh, no. Good. This is good.
Jo 7:42
Oh, this is it. Oh good.
Andy 7:44
"Four minutes of waffle! Do not wear yourself out to get rich. Have the wisdom to show restraint."
Andy 7:53
I'm trying to find the one in Hebrews because it was it was especially good.
Jo 7:56
Oh, I wrote it down.
Andy 7:57
Yeah, but I might have read itwrong. Do you know what? We'll forget Hebrews.
Jo 8:04
Yeah, we'll,
Andy 8:05
My Hebrew marker, whatever, that's gone.
Jo 8:07
Gone, it's gone!
Andy 8:08
Hebrews, yeah, 'don't wear yourself out'. I think there's, there's a tendency. Often we speak in management about generalisations, this is another one. There's often a generalisation that the husband will work himself to the bone. I've read enough, I'm not gonna quote them, because I can't find them to quote them. So I'm just gonna round them up, having read many. But there's often this thing that you get married, and the husband, and the wife, buy a house that they can do it. Alright, you your fixer upper. But then the husband spends so much time investing into the house, neglecting his wife, that the marriage suffers. Sometimes to a huge degree, actually. And I think that's part of it. You know, don't forget that in order to be married, it's not about having the money for the future, it's about investing in the present. And actually, although it's good to consider the future, don't invest in the future at such a consequence that the present dies.
Jo 8:58
Yeah.
Andy 8:58
Or is so adversely affected. And that really strikes me of the importance of I mean, effectively is your work life balance?
Jo 9:07
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's the
Andy 9:10
We're thrown 'cos our scriptures aren't what we thought they were.
Jo 9:12
Yeah, so again, it's I mean, it's so important, isn't it? I mean, it's clearly in the Bible. We should look after our finances should. We should look after our famil. We should work. We've covered proverbs 31 and we said actually, that's not just for women is it, it's for all people isn't it.
Andy 9:26
Don't be like the ant, don't be a sluggard get out and work.
Jo 9:28
Yeah, yeah. And what was it? It says something about actually you shouldn't eat
Andy 9:31
It's not my fault. The results are rubbish.
Jo 9:32
Oh, it says you shouldn't eat unless you work. So, you know, there's some principals around that we need, to work we need to, and prepare for the future and everything but like Andy says, not at the cost of the now. Because, you know, especially if you have children and they're growing up if you're so busy trying to build in that money for the future, you miss on, on their their lives, don't you. You miss out on their growing up, you miss out on today. And anyway, who knows what's gonna happen in the future?
Andy 10:00
Hebrews 13, 5.
Jo 10:01
Ah.
Andy 10:02
"Keep your life free from the love of money, be satisfied with what you have, for He, Himself, has said, I will never leave you or abandon you."
Andy 10:13
And, actually, the verse just before that, context is king, is all about marriage being honoured and undefiled. And also then keep your life free from the love of money. So, it's very easy to want to provide for your spouse, so much so that you ruin your marriage in doing so.
Jo 10:29
So, there's a warning in there isn't there. I love the Bible. It always puts these sort of boundaries in around us, isn't it sort of warning us from, you know, don't go this way or that, but keeps us all sort of on the right track.
Andy 10:38
It balances things out. It's good to plan for the future. But don't plan at the cost of the now.
Andy 10:42
It's good to have plans and savings for the future, but don't have savings for the future, but not being able to feed yourself today.
Jo 10:48
Yeah.
Andy 10:48
It also reminds us very clearly, we should be giving our money away to the poor. So, for example, if you've had three holidays this year, maybe that wasn't God's plan. The fact you've got money is not God's green light. The fact you've got money means you can do stuff. But it may not be what God wants. It doesn't mean to say there isn't what God wants. However, just check in with God, you know. If you've got, oh yeah, three, two holidays, isn't it great? And I mean, I've used this one before, I'll share it again, it popped into my head.
Andy 11:13
I remember someone saying, 'Oh, it's so stressful. You know, we've got these three, fortnight holidays to book. I'm so stressed. And we've just had to buy a new car, you know, because the old one was a little you know, it was a few years old'. And, and there were two of us and we hadn't on holiday for sort of, you know, 10 years between us. And we're sitting there. We're not poor, just not as wealthy as this family. And they were so stressed by their three, fortnight holidays, and we'd not had one. And we actually joked about, well, can you give them one each to us? 'Cos you obviously didn't need it if it's that stressful.
Jo 11:40
It does. It fits our struggle, though it does say in the Bible that it's, it's actually harder to be rich, isn't it? And it does bring about some difficulties, doesn't it? But whatever. It doesn't matter whether you're poor, or rich, or somewhere in between. Whether you're going through a time of struggle or not. We always still need to be remembering the simple principles of how we look at money, and how we need to take it to God in prayer.
Andy 12:03
What was the Luke one?
Jo 12:04
Oh, the Luke one was 12, 24.
Andy 12:10
"Consider of the ravens, They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn and yet God feeds them. How much more valuable you are than the birds."
Andy 12:20
And it goes into that not worrying and stuff. And I think one of the things, one of the biggest causes of arguments. Jo said, 'Can you remember the arguments we used to have about money'? And the truth is I don't. I don't remember what we argued about. What I remember, very clearly, was the amount of pressure and stress, from money, creating problems. I don't know what it was. I mean, it's probably random. And, you know, not really even necessarily connected. But we had so much turmoil because of struggling to make it in this world. And our greatest source of frustration was a lack of faith.
Andy 12:51
We talked last week about how faith needs to be a component of what you spend your money on. You know, if you've got £100, and you've done a finance course, well, you can't spend £110. As a Christian with faith, you can spend a million pounds when you've got zero. And you have to factor that in. It's not enough to say, you've got to spend within your means. Now that's really good financial planning by the way, I'm not saying that's not right. But, we have to add in faith. And faith means you have peace to spend what you don't have. Not in a silly way. This doesn't give you licence. But the greatest strife in our life, I think, was when we didn't apply faith.
Andy 13:29
When we have spending to make now and we think, can't afford it, but we need it or we feel it's right, we pray about it. If we have peace, we spend hours on it. Not in some cavalier fashion. But, actually, we spend faithfuly, knowing that God's got the rest of it. But don't, I suppose what I'm trying to say is be really careful not to think we've got money, therefore we can spend it. Or, we haven't got money, we can't. The fact you've got money doesn't mean that you should spend it, or that's God's plan. The fact you don't have money doesn't mean to say you haven't got things you can do.
Jo 13:58
The other thing to think about as well isn't it, is, is society, places expectations on us. And we can get sort of thinking that we should have this or the other. But, again, going back to God in prayer, you know. Oh my kids need this, or I need that or we need a holiday or whatever it might be. But, again, you might if you stop to think about it, you might think actually that's just the world telling me that that's what I ought to have, or the kids ought to have. And actually they don't necessarily need it. I can't think of anything at the moment. I think it's some of the new technology or you know, whether the child might need a phone or or whatever, you know. Everyone, 'cos the children will come back, so and so's got this, and put pressure on you. Or they're all doing this, or they're all doing that. And we as Christians need to stand and think hang on what does God want? Because He's He knows everything. He's sovereign, He's got the best. I mean, we're parents, we love our children. But God is the greatest parent isn't He. He loves us all so much more.
Andy 14:51
I think really what we're saying about the relationship stuff is. I was looking through some references to money, a very very cursory look. It wasn't you know, particularly deep one or wherever. But what I, what I took was there's three kind of strands coming through Scripture. And they, they're not one more than the other, it's just these three different ones that kind of intersect and interweave.
Andy 15:10
One of them is that we should be giving our money away to the poor. If someone's worse off than you there's a scripture about don't just say, you need a coat, give him your coat. Okay? How many times have we been told you guys, you need to stop moving house. Buy me a house then. 'Cos we're moving house because the landlord's selling the house. What do want me to do? Refuse? You know, so don't say things to people, that puts them in a situation where they can't do anything with it. Don't give 'em a gift that requires more money. 'Here's some free tickets to the concert, all you gotta do is get yourself there'. 'I can't get there'. The tickets go in the bin. You know, we can cause so much pain by our gift giving because when you give a gift, make sure you give a gift that hasn't got a cost, I guess is what I'm saying really. And that's one strand. So giving your money away.
Andy 15:50
The other one is be really careful with your money. Don't assume you've got money, therefore you can spend it. I've got money, therefore I should buy a househerefore I should go on a holiday, therefore I should buy a new car. Look at the time. It's come in just right.
Andy 16:02
J. John does this fantastic thing in one of his sermons about the devil always being ready, with a taxi, when he wants you to sin. If it's something to take you away from God, there's always a taxi waiting. And I'm gonna ignore the time! So that's really key, I think. Don't assume because you've got money. God wants to bless you with a holiday. Do uyo konw what? Maybe you should stay at home and give that holiday to somebody who's not had a holiday for 15 years, or whatever it is. Don't assume I've got money. Look at the timing, it must be right. Always go to God. And the thing, you know, we've had, I wouldn't say we've ever had times when we've had a surplus of money. We've never, we've never had that particular issue to deal with. We've had times when we've got a little bit of money. And we do actually think what do we do with this. But actually, because of some of the times. Because of the unemployment. Because of our business going down we go to God so much more, because we've had to. And we've stayed in that thing as much as we can to say, God, what do you want me to do with this money? I think that's so so key.
Andy 16:56
And the third thing's gone.
Jo 16:57
Oh, so yes, Don't work too hard. So that you wear yourself out isn't it.
Andy 17:02
Which all comes to there's a little bit of scripture in 1 Peter about making plans to go to this city, don't do it. Don't say I'm gonna go to this city, I'm gonna sell this and make some money. You could be dead before you get there. That's basically what the scripture is talking about. You don't know what happens tomorrow. Nobody knows. Even Jesus doesn't know when He's coming back. Only God the Father. So we don't know the future. Therefore, don't make such solid plans for the future that you've got your nesteg sorted, you got your 40, 50 years of pension sorted, and then the pension pot collapses.
Andy 17:32
There was one that I've used before. Many years ago in the UK, massive! 10s of 1,000s of people. They still haven't got the money, by the way. And they'd invested to save for 40, 50 years. Came to retirement. Where's the money? Sorry, it's all been lost. Now you can work as hard as you want to and it's good to work hard. All we're saying is everything in balance. Don't work so hard that you're building the house for your future life, with your current wife, at the cost of the relationship with your wife, for example. Anything else?
Jo 18:01
No, that covers it that does doesn't it.
Andy 18:03
Was I getting a bit passionate?
Jo 18:05
No.
Andy 18:05
You've got that look of something or other.
Jo 18:08
No. That's good.
Andy 18:13
Shall we move on?
Andy 18:13
Yeah.
Jo 18:13
Family Prayer Time. So what is it, Peter?
Peter 18:17
Well, it's me and mum, well Jo, we look at, we find a subject for prayer. So maybe the Psalms, or a country and then we pray as we feel led, and Bob's your uncle.
Jo 18:28
Excellent. Yeah, absolutely. It's Family Prayer Time. Me and Pete pray together. And we'd like you to pray as a family. So join us for Family Prayer Time.
Andy 18:55
And we're back. Just opening a book, which I should have done in that little break. If you open to the content section, darling,
Jo 19:00
Oh, yes.
Andy 19:01
of yours. We've got two books that we've recommended many times. This has got to be the first marriage book we've ever bought, nearly 25 years ago, and I've been pushing it at people all the time. What number is finances?
Jo 19:14
Three.
Andy 19:15
Okay, and I've got, you know, this is so slick today. It's not even here.
Jo 19:22
Oh, I thought you got a chapter on finances.
Andy 19:25
Work.
Jo 19:26
Maybe they've given it a different name.
Andy 19:27
Right. So we've talked about Stormie O. This is a slick episode isn't it. Aren't you glad? Anyway. It gets better. So, we, Stormie Omartian, we've talked about this, I still don't know quite how to say her name. But she wrote a book called The Power of a Praying Wife. And there's a little sub book that you can get, which is just the prayers listed. Yeah, that's fine. This is green. A green book. Green screen. It's fine. So the pPower of a Praying Husband. And what she did when she wrote the Power of a Praying Wife. She went to all these different women that she met over the time and said, If these were going to be the chapters of the book, you know, what order would they go in? And I find it fascinating that they're in such different orders! Because when she came to the men's book, effectively, the guys were saying, 'Could you write a similar one? Green, weird thing going on? Yes, we have a green screen, as you can probably tell by the fact the book is disappearing.
Andy 20:14
Anyway, so she went to the men and what, what order are these priorities for you? And they're very, very different. So if you look in the, the wife praying for a husband, the most important thing, number three, basically, is praying for finances. So praying for your husband for the, around money.
Andy 20:29
And when it comes to the wife, it's all the way down at number 17. So it's not about it's less important, it's just kind of list of priorities really. Well I suppose it is less important. Because generally, again, I think men would be more interested in money and looking after the family and keeping the household income going. And actually the wife, probably would be more interested in family, and the home, rather than a job. Then if you've got children in the mix then that kind of has to happen for a while. Again, we're speaking generally. We're speaking as generally as that because I haven't worked full time for a while, 'cos I stay home with the kids. So you know, we're not saying that the husband has to go to work.
Andy 21:03
Actually, the Bible doesn't say that.
Jo 21:04
No. We've done Proverbs 31.
Andy 21:07
We did Proverbs 31! Yeah, the wife works too. So don't think that's it, the wife stays at home with the kids, 'cos that's just not biblical. So yeah, it's interesting how Stormie Omartian really split it out. But this is one of the books we'd always recommend. Because it's so good, because what it's really doing is it's showing you areas of the, of my wife's life, in a way that is prioritised that a woman would prioritise them as. So all the different chapters, whether it's love, finance, home, children, whatever, it puts them kind of in the in the wife's priority list. So, when you're praying, you're praying as your wife would see them as important down to less important, not not important. And then vicki verki. That's yours isn't it! Vice versa, Jo would pray for me. So yeah, it's a really, really good book.
Jo 21:49
Yeah, and both books, I think there are prayers in there, or you can buy the separate book that is specifically around prayers. And I did actually pray for you one time because you were really stressing about finances. We didn't know how we were going to pay for something. Quite a stressful time.
Andy 22:04
Just one time?
Jo 22:04
Well, yeah, it was one particular time where you were particularly anxious that, you know, you were, you know, sort of it was affecting you physically, mentally, emotionally. You were just really quite down about it. And, and, and I just went upstairs and found the one on how to pray for your husband regarding finances, and just prayed that out loud. 'Cos sometimes it's difficult to find the words, isn't it. And so, Stormie Omartian.
Andy 22:28
We're really sorry. If she ever watches this we don't know how to say your surname!
Jo 22:34
And she gives you the words to speak out in boldness to help your other half, wife, or husband, or spouse, to get through those issues. And it is tough, there are tough times. I mean, we're talking at the moment around sort of the electric and gas situation. And we've been through lots of different things, the petrol prices went up and the cost of living and house prices, and so many things. And, but it's frustrating, because wages aren't going up with inflation, and all kinds of things like that. And so there are tough times. There have been tough times. And so we need to know what to do together. And because you can get very anxious and very stressful, like you said earlier, so I think books will help us.
Andy 23:19
Nothing wrong with a bit of liturgy, liturgy. Having stuff written down, it's really good. It can be really helpful. "How do I pray for this?" Turn to the book and pray it. And that's what Stormie does really, really well. And we, we've both valued that praying for the other.
Andy 23:32
Energy crisis is an interesting one. You know, you're making choices. And some people say, well just use your savings or a credit card. Some people don't have that option. For some people it's do I feed my child today. You know, that's a hard question. And we've been there by the way! We've been unemployed. We know what it's like we've been to food banks, when you see food banks running out of money, what do you do? When you see food banks who haven't got the shelves full of food because everybody's taken it, which we're starting to see in the UK now? How do you deal with finances as a Christian? You can be there shouting, you know, God will give us all we need. And yeah, that's true to some extent. But that's kind of not really what the scripture is talking about. And it is good to stand on truth, and it is good to trust in God. But we don't get to avoid the issues.
Andy 24:18
As a family we're facing quite a serious hardship this winter. We'll get through it, I suspect just about. There are many that will struggle far more than we, and others that won't. So coming back to what I was saying the first time, first half, first segment. If you've got, you know, extra money, maybe God hasn't given you that for a break for you. Maybe he's given that for a break for someone else.
Jo 24:39
The other thing that's just popped into my mind, because we are in top Tips and Resources. We might have different approaches, and different ways, of thinking about finances. One of the problems that we've had and we found is that I tend to be more laid back, and more more chilled about it, or just not worry so much. Whereas and you sometimes think well why aren't you worried. And i'm not like, well, then there'll be two of us worrying then. But, you know, but you think ahead, whereas I just think differently about it. It doesn't, there's no right or wrong, is it? But thats the thing, that's something to think about in't it? How we approach things? 'Cos once you go into that difficult, stressful phase, you need to have an understanding of each other and how you approach it. Yeah,
Andy 25:18
See, one of my things I'm quite good at planning ahead, for, I can do really complicated services, and I don't drop a sweat. But, the downside of that is I can plan ahead for money.
Jo 25:28
Yeah.
Andy 25:29
Because I can think ahead are far far away. And I have all these things in my head that, they're real. But
Jo 25:34
yeah,
Andy 25:35
you know. I guess my tip, my Tip and Resource, and I'm gonna nick it from my Take Away as well, before you even ask me is, just check in with God about the money you've got. What is God asking you to do with your money?
Jo 25:49
Good one!
Andy 25:49
Well, hello, my name's Andy B.
Jo 25:50
And I'm Jo
Andy 25:51
And we've got some super exciting nose, nose?
Jo 25:54
Nose? News!
Andy 25:54
We've got some news.
Jo 25:56
You said you could do this Andy!
Andy 25:58
Anyway, we've got some exciting news not notice coming for you. Because on Konnect Radio is a brand new radio show
Jo 26:03
Yeah.
Andy 26:04
called Family Focus. And it may be a shock, but actually, we're doing it.
Jo 26:08
Yes. And not on our own 'cos we've got a really cool dog called Dave.
Andy 26:12
Yes.
Jo 26:12
Dave, the Dog, who joins us.
Andy 26:14
Yes, Dave, the Dog who's a Dog called Dave. It doesn't get much more complicated.
Jo 26:18
He's dead funny, he's dead funny.
Andy 26:19
He's very funny. He comes along the house, we got a good good contract for him.
Jo 26:23
Yeah!.
Andy 26:23
So that's coming up. We've also got the doggy cushion, where we talk about family successes.
Jo 26:28
Highs and lows.
Andy 26:29
Highs and lows
Jo 26:31
Of family life.
Andy 26:31
Of family life. So whether you're 0, 8, 88, 888, then you're welcome to join us.
Jo 26:37
You don't have to do maths on this show.
Andy 26:39
No. It's fine. We don't. So come join us for some great chat, some great music, and some great stuff coming up on Konnect Radio, Family Focus.
Andy 26:54
So, welcome back to the super slick Marriage Matters episode where. I wouldn't say everything's gone wrong. I would say that we are learning to be adaptable and flexible with the life that comes before us, like getting scriptures wrong, for example.
Jo 27:08
Yes.
Andy 27:08
So what's your Take Away? I'm gonna give mine.
Jo 27:10
Yeah.
Andy 27:11
My takeaway is a reminder to make sure that faith is always an element in financial planning. Which sounds backwards, because how can you have faith about what you don't have while you're doing the planning. But, as Christians, we do our part for God, whether that's half, meaning 10%, or 90%, or you know, 0.01% and God does the rest, mostly. Actually, there is an element of faith. And, as Christians, we can't just say, we've got £100 we can spend £100. That's not the right way. That's not the godly, Christ centred, faith filled, way.
Jo 27:48
My Take Away? Well, I think ever since I've become a Christian I've struggled to really trust God around money. I mean, it's 'cos you, I was brought up in a sort of material world. And, you know, sort of, money's important. And you want stuff, if only I won the lottery or whatever and those sort of attitudes. So it's a learning process, 'cos habit shows you, 'Oh if I had more money, then I'd be happy'. And that's just completely and utterly wrong. So I've got to really reverse and change some of the attitudes that I picked up growing up. And, unfortunately, I can't press the reset button on my brain to just kind of take in and absorb what the Bible tells me.
Andy 28:25
Control, Alt, Delete.
Jo 28:25
Yeah, I'd love to be able to do that. And so, but I think it's a constant battle as you you go through life. And just when you think you've cracked it, something, you get a low ball and you go, 'Ah, perhaps I don't, I'm not really reliant on God, I'm not really trusting God'.
Jo 28:40
And that scripture you said earlier, Andy, with the sparrows, you know. And how many times I've heard that Scripture, and I still find myself self worrying and wondering. And it's ridiculous, 'cos we've been married now 25 years, and God's never let us down, always provided for us. But we come along to a problem and it's like, the worry, it's just so easy to worry, isn't it? And that's, I suppose my Take Away is, I really want to just be peaceful, and let God and I suppose it connects in with the faith, doesn't it really remembering faith? And yes, do all the practical things. I suppose you meet God halfway, you do your bit, and God does the rest.
Andy 29:19
But that doesn't necessarily mean the middle.
Jo 29:21
No.
Andy 29:21
'Cos what is the middle? Who knows?
Jo 29:24
Yeah.
Andy 29:24
But that's what we're talking about really. Money, finances can be such a source of difficulty, friction.
Jo 29:34
Yeah.
Andy 29:34
You know, this is about the nearest you'll ever get to a caveat from me. We don't talk about the bad side of marriages go wrong, because that's not what we're about. We're talking about what is God asking us to aim for? But we're trying to say not we've got it right, do what we do. We say, Well, we're trying to get it right. We think this is what God's saying so this is what we think the target is. This is the goal.
Andy 29:53
Rather than 'Well, this is really bad so don't do that 'cos the thing is you can see a million things that are wrong and it doesn't help you improve. If you want to improve follow somebody that's doing it right. Follow someone that's full of peace.
Andy 30:06
Too many people have become Christians because they've spent time with a godly couple, and they've seen such peace in their life, "I want that peace", and that peace is Jesus Christ.
Andy 30:14
So, make sure Faith is an active part of your financial planning. Don't assume 'I've got this much money, therefore, God wants me to have a better house, a nice car, three holidays, and then a nice pension, and I'll go out for a meal every week'. That may not be God's plan.
Andy 30:31
Brother Andrew, from Holland, same kind of era as Corrie Ten Boom. And he met someone, London way somewhere. And this guy actually ran quite a successful building firm, I think it was. And yet lived not at all like that. And he gave so much of his money away to all sorts of things for God, that he didn't have the big posh house, you know. They didn't eat lavish lifestyles. I think he had a nice suit for banks and stuff. But that was about it, if memory serves, maybe I'll be wrong. But yeah, I just think don't assume that God's given you that pay rise, because he wants you to have a better house. That pay rise might be for somebody else.
Jo 31:09
Yeah.
Andy 31:11
So, look at it through God's eyes with faith. That's what we're talking about today.
Jo 31:14
That's it, isn't it!
Andy 31:14
Get peace, get praying.
Jo 31:16
I did say we'd talk about how it had gone on.
Andy 31:19
How has it gone darling?
Jo 31:19
Yeah, with the whole changing over? To be honest. There's not been much change. You know.
Andy 31:23
Is that 'cos I did such a good job?
Jo 31:25
Well, yeah, of course.
Andy 31:25
Or 'cos there's so little to deal with?
Jo 31:28
It's not been a big deal. And so it doesn't really matter who does the finances, as long as you, you agree on it, and what you're doing and everything. It feels very right for me to do it at the time. And, yeah, it's not easy. But you know, I'm not, I'm not on me own. You're not completely saying right, I want nothing to do with it like, it's your problem.
Andy 31:48
Well, I am when there's a receipt. "Here's the receipt" and that's the end of it for me!
Jo 31:50
Yeah. So still. Yeah, we still do the finances together, but I've just taken the lead on it. And it doesn't feel any different. But I think what's nice is because we've got older children, I can rope them into helping me.
Andy 32:05
So we're using this as an opportunity to help them develop their own knowledge of financial
Jo 32:08
Yeah, well, they are good at maths to be fair, using their brains.
Andy 32:14
Yeah, that goes without saying.
Jo 32:14
But yeah, what was it? Faith in, in finances.
Andy 32:17
Get your faith in your finances. Get actively going to God.
Jo 32:21
Yeah.
Andy 32:22
Don't assume. I won't say why! Get some peace, go to God!!
Jo 32:27
Yeah, that was Marriage Matters, Money Matters, Part 2.
Andy 32:31
It'll be better next week.
Jo 32:32
Yeah.
Andy 32:32
Well, this wasn't bad. It's just you know, flexible, adaptable.
Jo 32:34
Yeah.
Andy 32:35
Finances have sudden surprises, like computers that update software that wrecks your plans.
Jo 32:42
That's life.
Andy 32:43
So have a great time. We will be back next week for more. And if you've got any topics you want us to cover, you can let us know. Who knows? See ya!
Jo 32:52
Thanks for joining us. Bye