S02E005, Day to Day, Marriage Matters
Introduction
This week’s Marriage Matters, you’ll be pleased to hear, is quite simple and straight forward and although Andy B and Jo tackle what might be the mundane and ordinary things of married life, this episode is not boring!
To give you a taster, so you can believe it’s true, these are some of the subjects covered: cleaning your teeth, putting the bin out, cooking meals and wait for it – cleaning the dishes! And if that was not exciting enough Jo mentions smelling roses and coffee and Andy gives a list of meals he eats!
Ecclesiastes 3 – A time for everything
The Meaty Section
Andy and Jo chew through some difficult topics and try and make sense of it all.
#RealTalk and #RealLife is just what we do!
Tips and Resources
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Consider perspective! Rather than seeing the faults of your spouse, see the good they do and bring into your marriage, and to your friendship.
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Don’t forget to be in the moments. It’s easy to be busy doing stuff, and ticking things from a To Do list. But don’t forget to enjoy the moments too because all those moments make up a marriage.
The Take Away
Jo – Marriage isn’t boring!
Andy – Marriage is best in partnership – so, what is your Take Away from today’s episode?
Andy and Jo
Download
Transcript
Andy 0:29
I forgot to ask. Is it you or me?
Jo 0:31
You, you start?
Andy 0:33
It'll be me then. Well, hello. We're on the ball. It's a bit hot today.
Jo 0:36
Yeah.
Andy 0:37
I have to be honest. We're melting. I think I'm on five ice lollies today.
Jo 0:40
Oh dear.
Andy 0:42
It's a, it's a warm day. Anyway, welcome to Marriage Matters. Another episode of the awesomeness of marriage matters.
Jo 0:48
'Cos Marriage Matters.
Andy 0:49
Yes, matters of the marriage that matters because Marriage Matters. But if you want to keep up to date with all that we're doing, then the best thing you can do is follow us on Facebook, you can follow us on Instagram. We're also on YouTube, and Vimeo, and Twitter and Tumblr. There's lots of places you can get involved. And the best thing as ever, always, is sign up to our newsletter. BerryBytes, with a Y? Because why not? And you can do that on our website. There's a little button that says newsletter.
Jo 1:21
Did we say who we were?
Andy 1:22
No.
Jo 1:23
I'm Jo.
Andy 1:24
I'm not. I'm Andy.
Jo 1:27
That's great. I'm glad we got that covered.
Andy 1:29
I'm melting.
Jo 1:30
So, yeah, we're back on Marriage Matters. This episode we're looking at, we're calling it Day to Day and we're sort of thinking about the mundane of life. Life goes, can be quite repetitive, it can be quite routine. You go to you go to the same job, or you get up, you clean your teeth, you know, you know have similar meals.
Andy 1:47
You have to clean your teeth in the morning do you? It's like health advice.
Jo 1:50
I'm just thinking routine things that you might do go. Go and get your hair cut, go shopping, all the kinds of things that you regularly have to do.
Andy 1:59
So you can feel the wind blowing in your hair when it's short like mine.
Jo 2:03
And it can get mundane. It can get boring. It can be like, ah, it feels like, you know, Groundhog Day. I dunno if you've ever seen that, just where the same day goes round and round. And you think gosh, what happened today? Or what am I doing different this day? And it can just feel a bit like, you know, mundane just sums it up.
Andy 2:19
Do you mean like when you wake up and think is it bedtime yet?
Jo 2:24
Those are those days?
Andy 2:25
Yes.
Jo 2:25
Yeah. But I was thinking more in terms of where life just gets repetitive. It's the same same old, same old. I guess that's why people go on holiday, don't they? To break that monotony. And I love, you remember that episode with Garfield. It's lik,e starts in black and white.
Andy 2:40
"The colour has gone out of my life".
Jo 2:42
That sums it up, doesn't it?
Andy 2:43
It does quite well actually. Yeah, I had a thought and it's gone.
Jo 2:47
Oh, right. Well, maybe it'll come back again.
Andy 2:49
I'm hot! Did I mention it's warm?
Jo 2:51
Yeah. So in marriage, you know, it can be you know, a routine, a day to day thing, can get boring. And so.
Andy 2:57
It's a bit like filming in a studio, on a super hot day ,with four studio lights, a computer with three fans, two lights with fans, and it gets a bit warm. But you have to get through to get to the end because it's like eating your veggies.
Jo 3:12
And not hiding them under the table, Andy like peas?
Andy 3:15
Well, that was a long time and I hated peas! So, I used to eat peas and spit 'em out when nobody was there. I used to wait so long that everyone got so bored they left me alone and I used to spit them down the back of the sideboard. I hated peas with a passion!
Jo 3:28
But we're not really talking about peas are we! We're just talking about marriage and how things can be a bit staid or whatever.
Andy 3:33
Do you remember John Major with the peas.
Jo 3:35
Oh yeah!
Andy 3:35
More peas. Oh. Anyway. Yes, lots going on.
Jo 3:39
Yeah, so we're just gonna be looking at that. Fairly easygoing, 'cos some of the episodes we've had have been quite hard hitting and
Andy 3:46
We've had some deep stuff.
Jo 3:47
So this is, in a way a bit of more lighthearted one.
Andy 3:49
Yes. So it'll be another, another episode of Marriage Matters. It's a bit like another episode of sausage pasta. Like, do I have to have that again?
Andy 3:49
I once saw somebody say that the what defines an adult, or, adulthood is defined by, opening your fridge and realising you're having the same food yet again, 'cos you've, you've run out of ideas of what to make.
Jo 4:08
Let's bring some colour back into our marriage.
Andy 4:10
Yes, let's do that!
Jo 4:11
That's the plan!
Andy 4:12
Shall we have a little advert then?
Jo 4:13
Yeah!
Jo 4:13
So, let's pray. Andy's going to come on and show us how to pray. Excellent. What, what have you got there?
Andy 4:20
It's my world Atlas.
Jo 4:21
Okay.
Andy 4:22
So I can pray for the world.
Jo 4:23
Okay.
Andy 4:24
You see, prayer is good!
Jo 4:25
Right. Okay, you gonna show us how to do that then?
Andy 4:25
Yeah, yeah. Yep, so I've gone I've got me Atlas and, if you go to the letter A, I'm gonna start here so
Jo 4:33
Yeah
Andy 4:33
Please God Please bless Abenra. And Archsun and Arbor.
Jo 4:40
What did you like about the story?
Dave the Dog 4:43
Bob!
Jo 4:43
You liked Bob?
Dave the Dog 4:44
And the stick?
Jo 4:44
And the stick?
Dave the Dog 4:45
Me like sticks.
Jo 4:46
You liked the stick?
Dave the Dog 4:47
Me like sticks a lot I do.
Jo 4:49
Okay, well, we'll try and make sure there's more stories with sticks in,
Dave the Dog 4:52
Thank you!
Jo 4:52
Dave, especially for you
Jo 5:04
We're back and to the Meaty Section
Andy 5:07
The Meaty Section.
Jo 5:08
You love saying that don't you?
Andy 5:10
There's some't good about it?The Meaty Section. I like meat.
Jo 5:13
Yeah. And so we're talking about the day to day life, within marriage of course, and how that can become boring or mundane. And
Andy 5:22
Have you put the bins out?
Jo 5:24
Yeah, that's another one isn't it!
Andy 5:25
And have you brought the bins back?
Jo 5:26
Yeah.
Andy 5:27
Have you emptied the bins? Have you hoovered?
Jo 5:29
Yeah, all kinds of things.
Andy 5:31
The sink's blocked again.
Jo 5:32
You know, like you've do the dishes and you think, oh, yeah, completion. But you know you're gonna have to do it again tomorrow.
Andy 5:37
And tonight.
Jo 5:38
And the next day and the next day. There are things that just keep coming back around. And life can seem a little bit boring, a little bit mundane. And they talk, don't they, they. We've talked about this before where marriages get a bad press, like somehow marriages are boring, and, and being single is a lot more exciting. But that's, that's not true. We don't believe that.
Andy 5:57
No!
Jo 5:57
And so what, what, what can we do then Andy? What can we do about life being like that? So routine and boring?
Andy 6:04
Perspective.
Jo 6:06
Ooh!
Andy 6:06
Always think
Jo 6:07
I like that!
Andy 6:07
perspective. So, one of my phrases that I've used for years, I don't even know where I came, I must have been using this phrase for 30 years.
Jo 6:14
Yeah.
Andy 6:14
But perception trumps reality. And it's all about the idea that what we perceive can sometimes become a reality. Not necessarily in the physical world, but in our minds. What we perceive can become so true, and ingrained, we assume that it just is, we perceive that that person's always grumpy, therefore they're a really horrible, nasty person. And what we don't realise is they're just terrified of being outside their own house. So, what we perceive, can end up becoming our reality. A false reality. And I think that's where the idea of marriage being really boring comes from. It's this false perception that, somehow ,you married the same person, you go to the same bed, you share the same bathroom and, it's not boring! There's a perception, but it's a false perception.
Jo 6:59
Yeah.
Andy 6:59
So perspective, perspective!
Jo 7:03
You, you've got your phone out there, what are you doing?
Andy 7:06
Well, I had some scripture? So I was thinking if ever you wanted some perspective, the best way of getting perspective is go to Bible.
Jo 7:12
Yes.
Andy 7:13
Go to the Bible.
Jo 7:14
Definitely.
Andy 7:15
Okay. So we've gone to Ecclesiastes 3. Lamentations is quite good if you want some perspective, 'life is meaningless'. We're not doing that today. But we are looking at Ecclesiastes 3 which says this, it's very well known.
Andy 7:26
"There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven. A time to give birth and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot. A time to kill, and a time to heal. A time to tear down, and a time to build. A time to weep. A time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones."
Andy 7:47
I don't get that bit.
Andy 7:49
"A time to embrace, and a time to avoid to avoid embracing."
Andy 7:54
There you go it's fine. A time, when it's hot. I don't want a cuddle when it's hot. Anyway!
Andy 7:58
"A time to search, and a time to count as lost."
Andy 8:01
That's quite good. How often do you think, "Well we'll will just keep going, and going, and going, and do you know what? Sometimes you've got to let it go.
Jo 8:06
Yeah.
Andy 8:07
"A time to keep, and a time to throw away. A time to tear, and a time to sew. A time to be silent, and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate. A time for war, and a time for peace."
Andy 8:19
And that scripture I know it's very well known, but I think is quite appropriate because, in life, I'm I'm gonna go back to food. I mean I know I made a joke about sausage pasta. So, in our household, I mean maybe you've got the same, we've got a set number of dishes that we do regularly. So, sausage pasta. It's not a cooking show, don't panic. We have sausage pasta. It's not on my mind, honestly. We have spaghetti bolognese. We have jacket potato with meat. We have chicken thighs, you know. We've got maybe seven or eight regular meals, maybe a Lasagna, fish and chips that we regularly have. And the problem is, when you have the same thing over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again you think, oh, it's really boring. And you lose perspective on how amazing it is that you have such a wide range of food.
Andy 9:02
If you've got no food, having fish and chips on a Friday, and having a lasagna on a Saturday, and a roast on a Sunday, "Roast every Sunday, oh, it's really boring". If you don't have food it's not boring.
Jo 9:11
No.
Andy 9:12
So it comes back down to perspective. And I think that's where the marriage thing comes from.
Andy 9:16
I want our boys to grow up excited about marriage, because they see that we are excited about marriage. That's the whole point of Marriage Matters, why Jo came up with this idea, and we've created this podcast because marriage is really exciting! It's good for people. It's good for society. God's got it in the bedrock of Scripture that marriage is a good choice to make, and it is a choice. You can choose to be single. You can choose to be married. Those are the two choices.
Jo 9:43
I mean, the thing is marriage does have its ups and downs, and its difficulties, But life goes through different season, isn't it like that eclasses, Ecclesiastes. I'm saying that isn't it? There's a time for this, a time for that, but you'd go through different periods of time. I mean, you know, we talked about when we were first married we didn't have children, and we had two incomes, and then we have children, and then the children are older. So, life changes. The only constant in life, isn't it, is change.
Andy 10:08
Yes!
Jo 10:08
And that's true of marriage. And it's true.
Andy 10:10
Ooh, that's deep that!
Jo 10:11
Is it?
Andy 10:11
The only constant in life is change. It's like a paradox, but it's true.
Jo 10:16
It's not boring is it!
Andy 10:17
No, it's not. And marriage isn't boring, because I don't understand Jo. And I've spent 25 years trying to understand it. And I've realised after 25 years, I don't understand her. And I'm looking forward to the next 25 years of understanding her. And maybe one day I'll think, I get it" Now I know why she's completely a lunatic.
Andy 10:34
Anyway, so, no that's not true! But, we there is, it's perspective, isn't it?
Jo 10:39
Yeah.
Andy 10:39
There's a perspective, based on their perception of reality, which is false, that marriage is boring.
Jo 10:45
Um, it makes me think about when I first became a Christian, actually. Because what I think many people will say, especially if they've had quite a dramatic change like they've not been
Andy 10:45
I think we can safely say yours was a dramttic conversion!
Jo 10:56
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you have one of those experiences where you weren't a Christian, you didn't get brought up as a Christian, and then you have this radical change, it's like colour comes in. So it is that is that perspective? You see life in a very dull, mundane, what's the point? What Why am I here? What's my purpose? And then you become a Christian. And it's like, wow, I have purpose, I have meaning, there's a reason for me to be here. And there's a reason to be married. And a reason you know, God's designed it and His design to show us how to live, how to be. It's about the community, it's about children, it's about the whole, there's just so much, and God's got this design. And if you're struggling and finding it boring, then, you know, we've got it wrong. And we need to, like you say, go back to the Bible, pray about it, look in the Bible, go to others who are going through, who've been through maybe this stage, 'cos you know, guaranteed you can speak to older couples or couples who've been, been going along the journey a bit longer. And they'll go, "Oh, yeah, I remember".
Andy 11:54
Yeah, I was chatting to someone the other day. And they were saying, 'Oh, there's this going on in my marriage. And can you pray for us? And this, there's, this and that. And I said, 'Look, you know, we've been there. Just keep going 'cos, actually, you're doing far better than you think you are.'
Jo 12:07
Yeah.
Andy 12:08
Because the very reason that you're, you're struggling, because you, you care, and you're passionate. But if we have the wrong perspective on that, we think oh, that's that's the end. It's going wrong. Or, the right perspective is, it's part of life. And one of the things certainly is, you know, I'd say we were a mature married couple now. Does that sounds old?
Jo 12:25
No, not at all, no..
Andy 12:26
I need me zimmer frame soon. I want a zimmer frame with Bluetooth. That's what I really want. Little speakers hanging off the sides. Anyway, so, I think perspective. It's all about perspective. Do you perceive that your life is boring, because every Tuesday you have fish and chips, and every Sunday you have a roast. 'Oh it's really boring and it's the mundane." Yeah, but that's life. Most of life is repetition. You get up in the morning, you do teeth, like you said. In the evening, you go to bed having put the bins out, and forgotten, then you run out in your dressing gown, 'cos you've forgotten that doesn't mean lorries arrived. And that's most of life for everybody. And I think one of the things about social media is, on social media, we get to see the exciting bits of people's lives.
Jo 12:26
Yeah.
Andy 12:27
Okay, 'cos you don't you don't go on Facebook, do you and say, "Put out the bins". And, then, another one of you with the bin. And you don't then say "I've just unblocked the sink". And you don't then say "I put my shoes on". And "I take my shoes off and I've changed me trousers."
Jo 13:03
Yeah. that's it yeah.
Andy 13:08
You don't. And that's most people's lives. Well, that's everybody's lives. Whether you've got lots of money or none, there's the same stuff. And it's that cycle of repetition, which makes up life, and our perspective on that determines whether or not we think it's boring. Or, 'Do you know what I've got, I've got breath in my lungs, I can take my bin to the end of the drive'. 'I've got food in the freezer, I can cook a meal, I can afford electric.' And if we switch our perspective from 'Oh it's the same repetition', all of a sudden, we have a different perspective and perspective changes everything.
Jo 13:50
Yeah. And I think linked to that it's thankfulness isn't it? It's actually being thankfu. Not necessarily looking at other people who've got less than us, but just appreciating what we do have! And linking into that is being in the moment isn't it?
Andy 14:03
Yes!
Jo 14:04
You know, too often we're missing things like, last night, we saw a full moon didn't we and it was just incredible.
Andy 14:11
Oh, it was spectacular!
Jo 14:11
And we took the time to look at the moon and take that in 'cos sometimes you just pull your curtains, 'Oh, yeah, that's nice, pull the curtains or whatever.
Andy 14:18
'Why is it so bright in me bedroom?'
Jo 14:19
Yea, it's annoying. But, yeah, there are so many things that like, you know, the seasons come round, but it never gets boring
Andy 14:27
No.
Jo 14:27
seeing the beauty of God's creation. And just, you know, I love watching the clouds. You know, when it's a cloudy day and you go, 'Ooh, I can see a dog, I can see a sheep you know'.
Andy 14:36
Ok.
Jo 14:36
And, actually,
Andy 14:37
We'll have a talk about this later.
Jo 14:39
But actually sometimes you know that the Mary Poppins films sort of tries to encourage us to be like children again and use our imagination. And I think, sometimes, maybe you just need to hang out with kids.
Andy 14:48
Don't ever grow up! Growing up is over rated! The Bible says we should be childlike.
Jo 14:54
Yeah.
Andy 14:54
Therefore, we should always be like children.
Jo 14:57
Not childish.
Andy 14:58
No. Well. Do you know, one birthday, was it, was it my 40th?
Jo 15:02
Something like that.
Andy 15:03
I said I want toys. I want games. I want little computer things. I want stuff I can play with. And Lego and, you know, it was one of the best birthdays for years. There was no, there was one, there was not one, single, serious, adult present.
Jo 15:15
Yeah.
Andy 15:15
It was brilliant.
Jo 15:16
So, you're actually saying we need to inject some fun as well into our lives.
Jo 15:19
Yes!
Andy 15:20
Yes. And change the perspective. I heard a friend. She was in her 80s And she'd have a cataract removed. And she, she had a similar story to you. So, when she had a cataract removed, an actual, physical, cataract, she said she hadn't realised that her red cardigan was red, because she bought it, it was pink. And she had the cataract outy and she put it on and thought, whose is that cardigan? Well, that's yours. No. I've got a pink one. No, no, that's yours. And all of a sudden she saw full colour everything. And she said it was exactly the same as when she came to faith. It's like some will switch the lights on, or removed a cataract.
Jo 15:52
Yeah.
Andy 15:53
And everything was suddenly in full colour. And she said it was the same when she became a Christian, and when she had a cataract removed as an older, older woman who said it's the same experience. When you meet Jesus, everything gets amazing.
Jo 16:05
Fantastic.
Andy 16:07
Shall we take a break?
Jo 16:07
Yeah.
Andy 16:13
So, Jo.
Jo 16:14
Yes.
Andy 16:14
Marriage Matters. What is it?
Jo 16:17
It is all about marriage because it matters.
Andy 16:22
You're nicking my lines now. Matters of the marriage, cos marriage matters and marriage Matters of the marriage matter.
Jo 16:28
Yeah, 'cos we've been married 25 years and we think it's really important to encourage one another and build one other up, and help each other 'cos we can learn from each other as well.
Andy 16:38
We've made so many mistakes where I've had to learn what Jo's done wrong and fix it. Like a mobile phone under a car wheel. A mobile phone at the bottom of the stairs. A mobile phone left outside overnight, and I get the blame. So I've learned how to deal with these little issues.
Jo 16:54
Yeah.
Andy 16:55
Bowl of rice. Well not if she's driven over it twice.
Jo 16:58
The bowl of rice won't help.
Andy 16:59
Some things are beyond help. But not Jo! And not, and your marriage is never beyond help.
Jo 17:05
No! Absolutely not.
Andy 17:05
So Marriage Matters is all about matters of the marriage that matter because Marriage Matters! Saturday podcast from 4
Andy 17:12
Hello, we're back.
Jo 17:27
Yes.
Andy 17:29
Tips and Resources. Tips and Resources. I can't really do the deep voice I need. I dunno. I need a cold again. I don't want a cold.
Jo 17:37
No, no, you don't want a cold no you don't.
Andy 17:38
So, anyway. So Tips and Resources. I've got a really good one.
Jo 17:41
Ooh.
Andy 17:41
So, I think, as we're thinking about the day to day, the mundane, we've touched on this before, and I'm sure we'll touch on it again, 'cos it's something that keeps coming back. So we're going on touching on this. But it's all about your perspective. That changes absolutely everything.
Andy 17:55
I'm sure you've met people that go around through life. "Really boring". "I'm fed up." "All this has gone wrong". "Oh, that's gone wrong." And they're depressing, quite frankly. And then you meet people who are "Do you know what's amazing. I went to work and someone opened a door, and I came in, there was a cup of tea." And, it's all about perspective. And I think that's the key. So here's my Tip and Resource. In your marriage, if you're thinking, do you know, what I'm fed up of my wife breaking mobile phones, like in the advert. Actually you haven't broken one for a while?
Jo 18:24
No.
Andy 18:25
That's quite a bonus. You know, I'm so fed up of this, you know, I'm fed up of my wife, she always leaves her clothes near the washing basket, not in it. He brings a washing down she never actually puts it in.
Jo 18:33
These are not necessarily anything to do with me. These are just top of your head what could happen isn't it!
Andy 18:37
Top of the head from earlier today. So, there are these things that happen and, instead of griping, actually, we should be writing a thanking list. So, if you know anything about aviation, there's some't called a gripe list. And it's some't the pilots write down. And if there's a problem on a plane, they write down the problem. And then the engineer comes along and says, 'Oh, that's gotta be fixed." And then there's a little conversation that goes through a little book. And it's a record of all the stuff that's going wrong, and not working. Some of them are very funny! Well, I think we can have that in our marriage can't we. We can have a gipet list of 'You know, I'm fed up no of that wife, I can't believe she's done this yet again.' Or 'do you know I'm so amazed at my wife for what she's done for me today.' And it's all about perspective. So here's my little tip for you.
Andy 19:15
Write down 10 things that your significant other has done for you. So, when you're thinking, do you know I'm really fed up with how they treat me, and what they're not doing, and that washing still isn't in the machine. All that kind of stuff. Well, actually, and it's her turn, then write down all the good things he's done. 'She brought the washing to the machine'.
Jo 19:35
That reminds me of our, our younges. He has a thing doesn't he! If we say something rude about the other person in the family, he will say 'Right you have to say three nice things now.'
Andy 19:46
Is it rude if it's true?
Jo 19:48
Well if you call them a name, because you're annoyed with them, no it's not good is it! So he will say, right, you have to come up with three things. So, and it's good because then you it makes you think twice. You think, oh, I don't want to have to go through the palaver of thinking up some thing, especially when I'm not in a good mood with that person. So, it's actually quite a good deterrent. A bit like the sort of swear box is a bit of a deterrent, isn't it?
Andy 20:07
Yes, we haven't got one of those.
Jo 20:08
No, we haven't actually!
Andy 20:09
I used to, a long time ago, when I was a trucker.
Jo 20:12
But, for me, I think some of the work that I do is about being in that moment. And I like the sort of expression, smell the coffee, take time to smell the roses
Andy 20:22
Smell the roses!
Jo 20:23
And, instead of rushing around, and I think we do often, just take that time to sit and watch a sunset, or, or literally smell some roses, smell the flowers, see the sights around you how often we miss so much. Take that time to soak in those moments,
Andy 20:39
When you're having a conversation, put your phone down.
Andy 20:42
When you're watching a film, put your phone down.
Andy 20:45
I'm really good at multitasking, which is a bad thing. 'Cos I multitask all the time. We'll be watching a film and I'll be catching up on messages with people, you know, to do with our ministry and stuff. And, one of the things, we had a week off a little while ago and it's been really good. I just stopped all that. And actually, I haven't picked it up again.
Jo 21:00
We have a phone jail. Don't we.
Andy 21:02
We have a phone jail? Phones go to jail!
Jo 21:06
I love it. We've lost the keys so that they can get out very easily.
Andy 21:09
Yeah, I lost the keys a long time ago. But, yeah, a phone jail. Actually we need a, we need, we need a whining jail to put all your complaints. Just lock 'em up and change your perspective.
Jo 21:18
Yeah.
Andy 21:18
There you go top tip.
Jo 21:19
Top Tips.
Steven 21:26
So, Endurance, wait, no, first, I'm Steven.
Nathan 21:30
I'm Nathan.
Steven 21:31
And we're brothers actually,
Nathan 21:32
Yeah, in case you hadn't noticed. I mean I know the much more masculine physique on this side may have thrown you off.
Steven 21:41
Yeah, I am actually older.
Nathan 21:43
Yeah.
Steven 21:44
Taller. Stronger. Fitter.
Nathan 21:47
Maybe?
Steven 21:48
No, definitely.
Nathan 21:50
Anyway, that's not the point of Endurance. It's Spiritual Training, not physical.
Steven 21:54
Yep, yep.
Nathan 21:54
Not that we obviously we don't compete that much.
Steven 21:57
Nor spiritually. You shouldn't compete spiritually either.
Nathan 22:00
No.
Steven 22:00
No.
Nathan 22:01
But I am better than you!
Steven 22:01
I dunno know what to say to that.
Nathan 22:06
There is no, no answer.
Steven 22:08
So, the point of Endurance is all about 1 Timothy
Nathan 22:10
Taking the mick out of each other.
Steven 22:11
It's all About 1 Timothy 4, verse 8, which says, "Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better." And so it was an idea which, I think it was my idea actually wasn't it?
Nathan 22:24
It was a joint effort. There's no I in team.
Steven 22:27
Yes, so it was definitely my idea.
Nathan 22:29
Yep.
Steven 22:29
And the idea being that we have to, well, I was challenged, because basically I enjoy exercise. I was doing lots of weight training, lots of running, and I was getting a bit obsessed about it.
Nathan 22:40
You were failing to train spiritually.
Steven 22:42
Yeah, you could say that I was idolising physical fitness rather than
Nathan 22:46
So we created Endurance to help him learn better how to balance spiritual and physical training.
Nathan 22:52
Yeah, basically. Ok.
Nathan 22:56
'Cos I've already cracked it.
Steven 22:57
No, no.
Nathan 22:59
No.
Steven 23:00
You've got a long way to go yet. So go check us out.
Nathan 23:05
I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I mean, you're way behind.
Steven 23:09
Cut!
Andy 23:21
Is it me again?
Jo 23:22
Yes!
Andy 23:23
We just had a chat, and it was me. And I forgot. We do this in one go, you know. There's no, there's no second takes here. So, this is The Take Away? Take Away.
Jo 23:32
Yes.
Andy 23:32
Where we take away stuff.
Jo 23:34
Yeah. So what's your takeaway Andy? Yes! Got in there!
Andy 23:37
So my takeaway is, it's all about perspective. So, let's just imagine for a minute that you go out for the same takeaway every Friday night.
Jo 23:45
Yeah.
Andy 23:46
There's two ways you can look at this. You go out for your take away. You walk into the place, you order your food. "Oh, hello Mr. Berry. Here's your takeaway" and off you go. And you think, ' it's really boring. I have the same food, the same order. Or, you can think you know what, I've actually got the ability to have a takeaway. What an amazing privilege! There are many people who can't be their homes, heat their homes, heat their food, feed their children. So actually, I'm really blessed to have this. And perspective changes it. And the mundane, stops being the mundane, when you look at it through a different set of eyes.
Jo 24:16
Yeah.
Andy 24:16
A bit like a cataract being pulled out from your eye. I mean, I'm only speaking from a friend's little testimony about a cataract being removed from her eyes. She said it was just, you know, I shared before about the pink cardigan that she bought that wasn't being that was bright red. And she didn't know.
Jo 24:30
Do you think it's an attitude problem, then, that we need to deal with? Maybe our attitude?
Andy 24:33
Yes you do have an attitude problem that needs to be dealt with.
Jo 24:36
Where was it we saw that emoji film? Muh? Meh?
Andy 24:39
Meh?
Jo 24:39
Meh. And sometimes people go around,
Andy 24:42
I identify with that film quite strongly. Meh!
Jo 24:45
Meh!
Andy 24:46
And i think, yeah, but doesn't that film just embody the whole thing of perspective of
Jo 24:49
Yeah
Andy 24:50
I've got no purpose. Actually, you do. The Bee Movie is the same thing. 'So I'm gonna spend all my life doing all this work, and then I'm gonna die.' 'Yes. Isn't it wonderful'. Perspective. The Bee movie. A really good little cartoon, and the main sort of protagonist bee in the in the film. He just thinks, what's the point in life? Everyone does the same thing. And, you know, and his parents are so excited about the job they do because they get to stir the crud, or whatever part of the film was really funny. But it's all about perspective. And yes, it's an attitude problem. And our lives are swamped by people's highlights, especially with social media. Even the news!
Andy 24:52
You watch the news? I mean, usually you get the news, and it's all death and destruction. And, you know, isn't it terrible? And then the last 30 seconds all look, here's a dog who's doing a skip through a hoop or something. And, you know, we don't really get a good thing. There's a, there's a magazine, I think called The Good News, we'll link to it 'cos I've forgotten the name. Is it The Good News Magazine, or anyway, and they share good news. And I think it's so important to have good news. Because, in life, there's just so much negativity thrown about.
Jo 25:50
Yeah.
Andy 25:50
I mean, we went through COVID, it's like, oh, is the end of the world, we've got COVID, it's really terrible, businesses are going bust. There's all this bad stuff. And what we didn't hear about was all the churches doing good stuff. Churches that were growing through COVID, because they were meeting the needs of the people. Food Banks, you just saw these amazing miracles and blessings. And all we focus on is the bad because it it scares us more. And maybe it's kind of conversely related to the number of muscles it takes to smile, as opposed to frowning, you know. And, maybe it's that sort of same sort of thing. It's a lot less energetic to smile, than it is to frown. And yet we frown far more easily.
Jo 26:28
Funny that, innit!
Andy 26:28
And we have the wrong perspective far too easily as well.
Jo 26:30
Yeah. I'm trying to think what my Take Away is.
Andy 26:33
Yeah. What is your Take Away dear Jo
Jo 26:36
I think well we're wrong. Marriage isn't boring!
Andy 26:40
Who's wrong?
Jo 26:40
No, we're wrong with society, people, you know.
Andy 26:43
I like marriage!
Jo 26:43
We have in life.
Andy 26:44
Is this like another intervention moment?
Jo 26:47
But life isn't mundane! I mean, we have our off days, don't get me wrong. We can get off out of the wrong. We can come out of the wrong side of the bed, as they say, don't they, sort of thing.
Andy 26:56
Yes.
Jo 26:56
But there's so much to be grateful fo. There's so much to do. I mean, it's mad, isn't it? We've got so muc. We've got so many episodes, or TV shows. We've got so much information. And yet we're still, like bored, do you know. And I'm sure there's been some difficulties this summertime with kids off school.
Andy 27:13
I remember hearing, it was a, I'm sure he was a university professor. It's going back quite a few years. Not really pre internet, but pre, like, mass internet.
Jo 27:18
Yeah.
Andy 27:18
And he was talking about, in the summertime, please, parents, let your children get bored. It's really so important for your children to get bored. Because, in that boredom, then creativity happens. And every time you say, let's watch a film, let's do this, let's go out for a walk, you're stopping their ability to be creative. And this was a university professor, I think in education, going back quite a few years now. But he said, please, parents let your children get bored. It is so important for them to find boredom, and creativity after that.
Andy 27:18
Yeah. Otherwise bored, do some't else. Bored. Do this, do that. Let them come up with stuff.
Jo 27:54
'Cos do you remember that, when our boys were waiting for us for some reason at church, I think? And they had this just this big hall and they just found this, was it a little bit of paper, or a stone they found.
Andy 28:03
Yeah.
Jo 28:03
And they just created this game from this piece.
Andy 28:05
Yeah. Not that they were bored at church, obviously.
Jo 28:08
No, no, they just happened to be waiting for us. So we were having, we were doing something. But, yeah, that's right, isn't it? You know, you can make you can make some't fun out of
Andy 28:17
I'm bored. Creativity.
Jo 28:19
Yeah.
Andy 28:20
So get creative in your marriages. There you go.
Jo 28:23
There you go.
Andy 28:23
So, thanks for joining us for another episode of Marriage Matters. My name is not Jo.
Jo 28:27
And I am Jo.
Andy 28:28
And I'm Andy. So, we'll see you again really soon.
Jo 28:31
Yeah.
Andy 28:31
Well, you'll see us. Well, anyway, we'll be back for more!
Jo 28:37
Yeah.
Andy 28:37
Bye for now.
Jo 28:37
Bye for now.
Jo 28:44
There are many ways to keep in touch with the BerryBunch. Visit our website and sign up to the BerryBytes Newsletter so that you can be notified of all our
Andy 28:55
Yes, that was a technical faux pas, because I missed me favourite little ending logo.
Jo 29:04
Did you?
Andy 29:05
So, I very seamlessly cut out and came back to do this. See ya!
Jo 29:21
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Steven 29:34
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Nathan 29:41
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Nathan 29:52
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Andy 30:05
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