S02E001, What’s The Big Deal? Marriage Matters
Andy B and Jo are back for more Marriage Matters. They said they would be back and here they are - back with more matters about marriage that matter because marriage matters, as Andy B so succinctly manages to say each week (or not)!
As usual Andy and Jo share their thoughts and personal experiences as they consider why Marriage is the way to go and seek to dispel the myths about marriage that make you think of marriage in a negative way. Andy B and Jo do their best to extol the virtues of marriage which wasn’t as difficult as it sounds as the research seems to back them up!
Andy and Jo have chosen three short verses from scripture to aid us in discovering what the bible says about marriage:
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Genesis 2:24
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Ephesians 5:25
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Proverbs 31:10
Tips and Resources
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Read Song of Songs in the bible – a celebration of marriage
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Read about the marriages in the bible, for example Abraham and Sarah or Joseph and Mary and learn from them.
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Take matters in marriage to God in prayer not into your hands like Abraham and Sarah did
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Be flexible, marriage like life does not always go the way you want.
The Take Away
Jo sees the importance of marriage and how it has been designed by God and is good. Jo also sees the benefits of staying with the same partner in marriage, getting to know each other, learning about each other, and finding comfort, safety and peace in this.
Andy reflects how God made marriage for a reason, and the marriage He designed in Genesis, as He was creating the world – and people! - was REALLY good, and really good for society as a whole.
Andy B and Jo
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Transcript
Andy 0:28
Hello.
Jo 0:29
Hello.
Andy 0:30
We are back.
Jo 0:31
Yay.
Andy 0:31
For more Marriage Matters fun.
Jo 0:33
Yeah.
Andy 0:34
And now we've got funky jingles.
Jo 0:37
Season two, isn't it?
Andy 0:39
Season 2 of Marriage Matters.
Jo 0:41
Yeah.
Andy 0:42
And we're back.
Jo 0:42
My name is Jo. And
Andy 0:44
my name's not.
Jo 0:45
You're not Jo, yeah!
Andy 0:46
My name's Andy. So, welcome back to Marriage Matters where we discuss matters of the marriage that matter, because matters of the marriage matter, because Marriage Matters.
Jo 0:55
Absolutely. very succinct.
Andy 0:58
Well, no.
Jo 0:59
No, not really.
Andy 1:01
I really appreciate your kind comments, kind of. So, welcome back anyway. So, if you want to keep up to date with all that we're doing with the BerryBunch, which is quite a lot, actually, then you can sign up to our newsletter. But firstly, you can sign up to Facebook. Well not necessarily sign up, but you can follow us on Facebook. You can follow us on Instagram. We're also on Twitter. Sort of Tumblr, but having some technical issues with that. But, yeah, the best thing you can do is to sign up to our newsletter. We got a new funky, cool website. It's all happening.
Jo 1:33
Yeah and here in the studio.
Andy 1:36
Yeah, I got I got two tablets and a phone. Which, hopefully, hopefully will work.
Jo 1:41
You've got the power.
Andy 1:43
Well, I've got two tablets and a phone. We'll see.
Jo 1:46
Yeah, so this is our first episode of the second season, in this series. Have I got that right?
Andy 1:52
In the series of Marriage Matters. Yes.
Jo 1:53
And we're gonna look at what, well we've called it, What's the Big Deal? Obviously, we're married. We've been married for 25 years. And we want to celebrate that. We want to encourage ourselves, and people who are watching, and you're joining us, to stick at it, go for it. Keep going and help and support each other to keep going 'cos it's not easy and we have hard times, and we have good times. And so we wanna keep going. But what is the big deal? Why are we banging on about being married? What is the significance? What's the importance? Why are we saying it's, it's right?
Jo 1:56
Because Marriage Matters, and if it wasn't, we wouldn't have a podcast called Marriage Matters!
Jo 2:36
That's what we're gonna talk about anyway.
Andy 2:38
That's not bad logic, is it?
Jo 2:39
Absolutely!
Andy 2:43
We were gonna be doing something else today. So we shoehorned this one in?
Jo 2:46
Yeah.
Andy 2:46
So, if it's a bit clunky,
Jo 2:49
Yeah,
Andy 2:50
Forgive us.
Jo 2:51
Forgive us, yeah, but we, that's what we're gonna do. What is the big deal? Why Marriage? What's the importance?
Andy 2:55
What's the big deal of it? So, I mentioned this the other day, actually, in an Andy B 2 Minute Video, where I said that, is it psychology or psycho analysis, or one of those things that I can't even pronounce. And they were looking at family, and family models, and the very strongest family model for a child to grow up in is a husband and a wife in a marriage. That is the best foundation for a child to grow up from. So, psychologically social workers, or I can't remember who looked at this, the right, you know, job title. That's not my strong point! And, basically, God's design is best. So no surprise.
Jo 3:31
And that makes sense! And we, yeah, we will look at the Bible. Sorry.
Andy 3:34
I was gonna say, but that doesn't mean to say if things go wrong, that somehow it's the worst.
Jo 3:38
No!
Andy 3:38
That's not to be misconstrued!
Jo 3:40
No. And the Bible is clear from the very beginning.
Andy 3:43
Yes.
Jo 3:44
You know, the idea is to be married. One man, one woman, in marriage. Adam and Eve started it all, at the beginning.
Andy 3:51
They started all sorts of things.
Jo 3:52
Well, yeah. Things went a bit pear shaped. But, you know, in the beginning, 'it was good'. And God's design was good. And the idea was to go off and multiply, isn't it? And here we are. Lots of people on the earth. Lots of families, lots of people, and it's, it's exciting.
Andy 4:08
It is.
Jo 4:09
But there are troubles and difficulties. So that's what we're talking about. What's the big deal?
Andy 4:14
And as ever in Marriage Matters, we're looking at what is our experience personally? How can we share that with you? We talk RealTalk, real stories, from our own life. 25 years as husband and wife, as Jo very wonderfully said it, in that very first episode, that we've lasted this long. And that's what we're gonna be sharing. We'll be back after the break.
Andy 4:37
In 2018, Jo and I were full time children's ministers, loving what we were doing, and wanting to share our resources freely with others to use
Andy 4:46
Scroll on two years to 2020, and we'd finally launched our BerryBunch.family website chocked full of resources.
Andy 4:53
It was a bit embarrassing, and we had one video but we've now got nearly 500 videos for you to use, stream, share and download, with 900, posts, all full of information that you are free to use in your situation, whether that's a church, a family, or just for your own personal use.
Andy 5:10
We've been asked all sorts of things. We've made logos for somebody who wanted a new logo for their blog. We've been asked to create a children's discipleship group so we've done that. Wwe've been asked to create a book about Broken Dreams, and Hope! and we've done that as well.
Andy 5:24
We love creating resources that are relevant for your situation, so get in touch with what your needs are.
Andy 5:30
Our vision and our passion is to create material that is family safe, For Free, For All, wherever you are in the world and that is exactly what we do. So, if you want to help us continue to do that, or if you want us to make something specific for your situation, then get in touch.
Andy 6:18
And that was very skillfully the wrong jingle.
Jo 6:20
Oh, well.
Andy 6:21
Are you impressed?
Jo 6:22
We carry on. The show goes on.
Andy 6:25
We carry on!
Jo 6:25
So, thanks for joining us, as we look at What is the Big Deal about marriage? And I think, you know, when we see on programmes and films, I think marriage gets a bad reputation doesn't it. Seems to be boring or, you know, like the joke about 'Oh, you married, you don't have sex' or something. It's always sort of quite derogatory, negative, and not cool, or funky or anything. And so you know, we're sort of thinking, is it oh, so last year or something? That's the kind of the feeling you get from the films isn't it, and programmes?
Andy 6:56
No, there's very much an air of marriage, 'oh, gosh, that's really boring'. So many films, it's the stereotype isn't it of the husband's out with his mates, and they're all having fun, and they're all gonna go out and party. "What are you doing?" 'I'm going home to the wife and, you know, probably sleep on the couch" and really boring. And, you knoe, you get this all the time. And actually, marriage is really exciting. It can get boring, but like anything. Of course it can! And if you don't work on it, and you don't persevere with it, and you don't feed it, of course.
Jo 7:25
Do you remember that old programme in the 70s, The Butterflies, the bored,
Andy 7:29
I'm too young for that dear!
Jo 7:29
the bored housewife, and she was like. I mean, it was really sad 'cos she started to get interested in someone else.
Andy 7:35
I'll listen to you 'cos I'm not old.
Jo 7:37
But he was it was this was always the archetypal bored housewife, and that obviously marriage was, was not enough. And arguably marriage isn't enough, you know. We shouldn't think it's the be all and end all of life and marriage isn't for everyone is it?
Andy 7:49
No!
Jo 7:49
You know, celibacy should be celebrated. And there are times in our lives when we're not married. So, when you're young, before marriage, when you're a little bit older, and all kinds of periods of time when, you are single. And we celebrate being single but, if you are gonna be with someone, we believe the best design, from a Bible perspective, isn't it, that it's to be in marriage. So, why do we think that Andy?
Andy 8:13
I don't know why do we think that.
Jo 8:14
Shall we look at the scriptures and see why.
Andy 8:15
Shall we see what God said?
Jo 8:15
So, Genesis 2, 24 right in the beginning,
Andy 8:20
Genesis 2. NIV today.
Jo 8:22
Oh right, okay,
Andy 8:22
It's lighter. It's a lighter weight Bible that's all. No other reason! So Genesis 2 verse 24,
Andy 8:31
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
Jo 8:39
Simples
Andy 8:40
Is that it? Are we done now?
Jo 8:42
Well, no, do you want to expand, do you want to go do throughh that or do you want the other scriptures?
Andy 8:46
I, er, more scriptures.
Jo 8:48
More scriptures, okay. Ephesians 5, 25 And there's a lot in there about relationships.
Andy 8:53
Ephesians 5, 25 says the following, oh, yeah.
Andy 8:58
"Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself up for her."
Andy 9:04
Do you want some more?
Andy 9:04
"To make a holy. Cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church without stain, or wrinkle, or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."
Andy 9:17
And it goes on to some, do you want more?
Jo 9:19
Well, no, that was it. It was just the simple bit about loving, husbands loving their wives.
Andy 9:23
Which is always good.
Jo 9:24
Because the next one, Proverbs 21, 10 talks about wives.
Andy 9:29
Proverbs 21
Jo 9:31
21, 10
Andy 9:33
"The wicked man craves..." that's not the right one!
Jo 9:35
No proverbs 21, 10.
Andy 9:37
That is 21, 10.
Jo 9:38
Oh. It was something about wives are beautiful jewels or something. So I've obviously written it down wrong. We'll find the right one at a later date.
Andy 9:47
Yes, "the wicked man craves evil" isn't quite the way we were going today!
Jo 9:51
But yeah, wives.
Andy 9:52
We'll come back to Proverbs.
Jo 9:53
are jewels and husbands love their wives. There's some beautiful scriptures about the significance and the importance of marriage, and how good it can be for us.
Andy 10:02
Yeah, I think there's a lot. I think Hollywood has a huge responsibility. I think the church, generally, globally, has a big responsibility here. On the one hand, you've got the church, which is not celebrating marriage. Quite a few marriage bloggers that we follow they always say, "Has anybody ever heard a sermon, ever, on the Song of Songs? And there's this wall of silence? Because no one talks about it.
Andy 10:25
I said this in the last season. I've only heard one reference to the Song of Songs in a scripture, in a sermon, and it was "Ooh, that's God's little dirty book." Now, I can't comprehend that a minister would say that. But anyway, it isn't! But that's the only reference in 40, 35, 40 years of walking with Jesus. That's the only time I've heard it mentioned.
Andy 10:45
So, we're quite passionate about the Song of Songs. It's written for married couples. It's written for couples who are going to get married, and are married. And it's a really good bit of Scripture.
Jo 10:54
Yeah.
Andy 10:55
But I think, when we're looking at the, God's design, and we're looking at the what the world is telling us, when the church isn't celebrating marriage, and isn't honouring God through how good a marriage is, that's one part of the problem.
Andy 11:07
The second part of the problem is this assumption that if you're married, it's boring.
Jo 11:11
Yeah.
Andy 11:12
Now, we touched on this in the last season. We talked about how, when you're married, for a long time, there's a vulnerability, there's a relationship, there's a trust, there's time. And, actually, everything gets better as you learn to understand one another. Any situation! Two people who cycled together. Or a football team, and they're gonna, you're going to get to know each other better. Now a football team will know, oh that person is going to run up there, that person's going to probably run back, if I kick the ball over there, they're going to do this. Oh, I know what that means'. But that's really a basic level. Actually, within the confines of a marriage, which is God's design for two people for life, actually, the level and depth of vulnerability, and therefore the joy that comes with that, from constantly knowing each other better, it's just much better.
Andy 11:56
But Hollywood, what a Hollywood do? Well, marriage is boring, it's really dull. It's really boring. "Spice up your marraige, go and have an affair." "Oh, aren't affairs wonderful and fun and brilliant?" And, no, they're actually not, it just destroys! And I remember seeing some stuff on the BBC One time about wives, specifically, who had dealt with their husbands having had affairs. It was quite shocking from the BBC, 'cos it was really good and true. Actual journalism. Who knew! But they were talking about the fact that these wives are devastated, and destroyed. Because their husbands having that affair was totally terrible, was terrible for the family. It just destroys and it disrupts. So when you've got these two conflicting things, and Hollywood, and Hollywood, we're not saying just Hollywood, we're talking about, you know,
Andy 12:41
The film industry.
Andy 12:42
video media, making light of it when you've got nudity on screen. And you've effectively got pornography, which is really, really terrible and bad, but we'll do pornography on TV, cos then it's okay, 'cos it's art'. No, it's not! And, actually, it's still not okay, because you know, what? I only want to have eyes for Jo. And she only wants to have eyes for me. And if I'm getting bombarded with 'well, Jo will never be enough for me, you've got to sexually, you know, explore, to really enjoy'. 'Have sex before marriage, then you'll know what, whether they're good or not'.
Andy 13:10
I've been married for 25 years. That that means I had 25 years of practice of learning to get to know Jo, understanding how she is in the mornings, how she is in the evenings, knowing when she needs another cup of coffee. And all these little things make up a much wider picture, which makes for a really good relationship. And you can't do that, on the fly.
Jo 13:28
No.
Andy 13:28
You can't do that overnight. You can't do it just because you've got married in a church, and you didn't have sex before marriage, and you've waited. That's great, but you can't develop the relationship, without developing the relationship. And that's going to take time it's gonna take effort, it's gonna take sacrifice.
Jo 13:42
Yeah, I have heard it said you can base a nation on how you treat family, how you treat marriages. And, so, it's the foundation of a society that works, isn't it? If your families are taken care of, they can provide for themselves, they can look after themselves, they can function, then you find that is the foundation of a decent quality, sort of nation, isn't it? And that's God's design, isn't it? That's the foundation. And when you start shifting that, and people don't know where they are with it all, then that's, that, I think the the society shakes. Because marriage provides that security, and that safety, and those boundaries. Not just for the children, but everybody involved, isn't it? It's quality!
Andy 14:27
In a way that you can't have anywhere else actually, I think. I don't think you can have that same security, and research backs that up very, very clearly. Very, very much. So, we know from social studies, that the, the home, if it's a husband and a wife, with children, and then they're in a marriage, those children are going to have the best possible beginning. As I said, don't think 'oh, well, one of us has had an affair, now my husband's died, now I'm on my own, therefore, it's the end. It doesn't work that way! But we always look at what's God's design? What do we believe His best is, based on our own relationship after a quarter of a century. That sounds old, doesn't it! After a quarter of a century together, you know, what do we think of it? And how does that fit? And how hvae we worked it out? I pray daily for our boys to have really good wives when they, when they, when they grow older. Because I know personally, as a bloke, how much you are the jewel. I'll have to find that. I'll find that!
Jo 15:18
Yeah, you'll find it.
Andy 15:20
Because it's a really good thing! And what I found is, you are like the jewel. You, you never complete me. If you're getting married because you think that other person is gonna, somehow, make you whole, I'm afraid you're going to fail. And you're gonna have a pretty miserable marriage until you realise all you need is Jesus. And me getting married to Jo was fantastic. But Jo is never going to complete me. She's never going to be everything I need. What she can be is an amazing friend, and all sorts! But she can't complete me. She can't be everything because only Jesus can supply all our needs.
Jo 15:52
I know what you're saying about what you know. Things can go wrong. And we're not always responsible for some of the things that go on in marriages and all the rest of it. But, we can aim high, aim for a standard. And people do choose to live together. And, you know, as much as, you know, you might think well, well, there's no point in getting married. But there's a commitment that you make, isn't it. You make a promise to stick together. And I think. and I wonder at the insecurity of living together 'cos there's almost that well, I'm not quite wanting to commit fully here. So if things go wrong, you know, I can sort of go my own way, which doesn't build a great foundation does it, in that sense? And I appreciate some people have been been together, living together a lot longer than people have been married, in fairness.
Andy 16:32
But that isn't the norm. That is very rare.
Jo 16:35
No, absolutely! And so, and I've heard, you know, when people have got married, they found the difficulties. But of course, if you're going to do something the right way, it doesn't necessarily go easily does it, you know 'cos.
Andy 16:46
And then we go back to the Bible, and we realise that God's, excuse me, God's plan is for marriage to be until death, which is not a millstone round your neck. But it's, it's wonderful. There's a real security blanket there. What was it you said? I've lost me train of thought then.
Jo 17:02
I was talking about living together.
Andy 17:05
Ok, so one of the things that we know so, so clearly, as people will say, "Well, you need to have sex together before marriage. It's like driving a car. And you'll, you'll know if you'll fit together". Can I just say God's design is really good. A husband and a wife? You're gonna fit! Don't worry about that part!! Yes, there may be some other issues that perhaps very rarely you may need to work through. Perhaps the wife, particularly, might experience pain, or being a bit more blunt that bladder infections can be quite common. it does happen, don't worry, you can work through that. But God's design, it works! You don't need to test out sex to see if it's gonna work.
Andy 17:37
The human race is not here because of experiments with sex, and whether it's good or not. It kind of works. It's not complicated. But, when you live together, the reality is you are not gonna to live together for long. We know this. There's so many studies it's not really worth even trying to go there. We know that people who have sex before they get married are far more, far more likely to have a divorce, or if not married to separate. So, having sex is never gonna join you in a way that a legal document will. And we, we need to treat marriage seriously because, actually, it is a great building block for society.
Jo 18:12
Absolutely.
Andy 18:14
And I remember Andy Hawthorne saying something to the, is it Prayer Breakfast at the MPs a few years back. And he was talking about "Why is it we get so surprised as a society when society shakes, and things aren't working, and it's because we're taking Jesus out of it". And actually, when you remember the reason that marriage is used by Jesus so often, as an illustration, it's the power of marriag. We are the bride of Christ He isn't gonna give up on us. And, in the same context, we shouldn't be giving up on each other.
Andy 18:41
Shall we try the wrong jingle again?
Jo 18:43
So let's pray. Andy's gonna come on and show us how to pray. Excellent. What, what you got there?
Andy 18:50
It's my World Atlas.
Jo 18:51
Okay.
Andy 18:52
So I can pray for the world.
Jo 18:53
Okay.
Andy 18:54
You see, prayer is good.
Jo 18:55
Right. Okay, you're gonna show us how to do that then.
Andy 18:57
Yeah, yeah. So I've gone, I've got me Atlas and, if you go to the letter A, I'm gonna start here so,
Jo 19:03
Yeah.
Andy 19:03
Please God, pease bless Abenrar, and Arcshun, and Arbor.
Jo 19:10
What did you like about the story?
Dave the Dog 19:13
Bob.
Jo 19:13
Bog? You liked Bob?
Dave the Dog 19:14
And the stick?
Jo 19:16
And the stick?
Dave the Dog 19:16
Me like sticks a lot I do.
Jo 19:19
Well, okay, well we'll try and make sure there's more stories with sticks in Dave.
Dave the Dog 19:22
Thankyou.
Jo 19:22
Especially for you.
Andy 19:37
Hang on, we've lost the camera.
Jo 19:39
We're back!
Andy 19:40
Let me, ooh it's there? I told you we're getting there.
Jo 19:45
You sure having all this business, here, is helping?
Andy 19:49
Yeah! Technology's brilliant.
Jo 19:51
What are we back for? We're back for our,
Andy 19:53
Tips and Resources.
Jo 19:54
Tips and Resoufecs. You didn't do your voice!
Andy 19:56
Tips and Resources. Oh, I've gto a bit of a cough. Tips and Resources. Is that better?
Jo 20:01
That's better! So, I was thinking that it might be quite good to look at.
Andy 20:08
I know why the camera didn't work.
Jo 20:09
Why?
Andy 20:10
I can fix it.
Jo 20:11
Oh good.
Andy 20:11
It'll take 5 minutes
Jo 20:14
After this!
Andy 20:16
Yeah!!
Jo 20:16
I was thinking you could read some of the biblical marriages. I mean, some of them we can learn a lot fro. Not necessarily to follow them, and do as they do.
Andy 20:24
No.
Jo 20:24
But, there's some good things to learn from. So, for example, with Abraham and Sarah, let's take matters not into our own hands and try and figure stuff out.
Andy 20:33
Yeah, that didn't end well!
Jo 20:33
That didn't end well. Some some real problems in their marriage. But, listen to Go. Take things to God in prayer, in marriage. That's the, that would be a good tip from their marriage to think about.
Andy 20:45
Be flexible. Why do I say be flexible? We weren't doing this today. This was next Saturday's filming. We were going to do something else completely different today.
Jo 20:53
Yeah.
Andy 20:53
And, that couldn't happen. So we thought, well, oh, let's get ahead. And I think, in marriage, my tip would be this. Try and get ahead in marriage of stuff. Don't wait for disaster. Don't wait for things to go wrong. Don't wait for your wife to pick up the stuff off the floor. Hey there's a stereotype.
Andy 21:08
Can I just say as a stay at home husband it's not the husband's that leave the stuff on the floor. It's the person that isn't at home
Jo 21:15
Yeah!
Andy 21:15
who leaves his stuff on the floor?
Jo 21:16
Yes.
Andy 21:17
I remember having this person, female, really berating me. "Oh, men are stupid. You, you leave all this stuff around their house, you can't multitask like we can, you're wimps, you're useless". And I'm sitting, thinking, 'Okay, how do I answer this one?' And I remember that I'd just, this morning, that morning, picked up after you, after you'd come home from work, you dumped your stuff and go into the shower. And then, in the morning, you leave all your stuff behind and go to work. And I'm left picking up the pieces. It's got nothing to do with men!
Jo 21:45
No, it's the role isn't it.
Andy 21:46
It's the role. 'Cos if you're workng the last thing you want to do is stick the dirty washing in the washing basket, 'cos you just want to get to work.
Jo 21:52
The other biblical marriage I was thinking about was Joseph and Mary. And what you can learn from that is like, in a way, they were quite ordinary. There was nothing sort of special, particularly, about Joseph and Mary. They were very ordinary, from a poor background, weren't they? And yet God did something extraordinary. So, with God, God is the God of the impossible. So, if you're thinking, 'Well, it's just an ordinary marriage. There's no big deal. We just pootle along. But, you know, you don't know what's God's doing in your lives. And I thought that was a good one.
Andy 22:21
Sorry, I'm just thinking about the fix to the camera issue.
Jo 22:23
Oh, my goodness. I've lost you.
Andy 22:25
But I know how to fix it, I think.
Jo 22:27
But we usually, we often in this period, this slot, don't we, sort of think about resources, and books, and things like that. We'll always bang, bang on about Song of Songs, always a good one to read. And there are definitely lots of resources and we'll put them on, on the links. Because there's lots of different books. But if you find some books that are useful, then do do tell us about them.
Andy 22:45
Yeah, if you've got a good book.
Jo 22:46
Yeah. So it's always good, isn't it to read up.
Andy 22:49
We try to advise what we know. So, we used to have a shop. And we never, I think actually, all the way through, we didn't sell anything we hadn't tried, oro used ourselves. So we did, genuinely, use it. So, when we said, we've got one of these at home, we actually had one, or more, at home. So, we sold stuff we believed in, in the same way. So if you've got a resource, let us know. We'll try and get a copy and then we can let people know.
Jo 23:09
I suppose the other thing that where you learn about marriage is from your own family don't you. But if you've had a bad experience so, for us, we've both come from divorced families, it's hard to sort of. But again, looking at the biblical marriages you, you learn from other people's mistakes. I prefer that than to learn from my own mistakes! So, you can learn from what didn't work, and stuff like that, can't you?
Andy 23:28
Mary and Joseph was an interesting one, because baby before the wedding. Now, they didn't have sex. They didn't get pregnant. by Joseph. That was the Holy Spirit. It's an amazing supernatural event. However, what a rocky start.
Jo 23:41
Yeah.
Andy 23:42
What were people thinking of them? 'Oh, that Mary and Joseph'. And, don't forget, back in Jesus' day, you know, sex out of marriage and pregnancy, was not just a bit of a naughty thing. It was, you could be stoned to death in certain places. So it was really serious! But that supernatural event obviously was awesome.
Jo 23:58
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think, sorry, thinking about family support, it's really great when you have family support, but we don't always get it, do we?
Andy 24:04
No.
Jo 24:04
And so, you know, we have to walk, go through those things together.
Andy 24:08
Yes. I'm gonna hit a video and fix the thing.
Jo 24:12
All right, excellent.
Steven 24:19
So, Endurance, wait, no, first. I'm Steven.
Nathan 24:22
I'm Nathan.
Steven 24:23
And we're brothers actually.
Nathan 24:25
Yeah, in case you hadn't noticed. I mean, I know the much more masculine physique on this side may have thrown you off.
Steven 24:34
Yeah, I'm actually older.
Nathan 24:36
Yep.
Steven 24:36
Taller. Stronger. Fitter.
Nathan 24:39
Maybe.
Steven 24:40
Oh, definitely.
Nathan 24:43
Anyway, that's not the point of Endurance.
Steven 24:45
No, it isn't.
Nathan 24:45
The point is, it's Spiritual Training, not physical.
Steven 24:46
Yep, yep.
Nathan 24:47
Not that we, obviously we don't compete that much.
Steven 24:50
Nor spiritually. You shouldn't compete spiritually either.
Steven 24:52
No.
Nathan 24:53
But I am better than you.
Steven 24:54
I dunno know what to say to that.
Nathan 24:58
There is no no answer.
Steven 24:59
So, the point of Endurance is all about 1 Timothy
Nathan 25:03
Taking the mick out of each other.
Steven 25:04
It's all about 1 Timothy 4, verse 8, which says,
Steven 25:08
"Physical training is good but training for godliness is much better."
Steven 25:12
And so it was an idea which, I think it was my idea actually, wasn't it?
Nathan 25:17
It was a joint effort. There's no I in team.
Steven 25:20
Yeah, so it was definitely my idea.
Nathan 25:21
Yep.
Steven 25:21
And the idea being that we have to, well, I was challenged 'cos, basically, I enjoy exercise. I was doing lots of weight training, lots of running, and I was getting a bit obsessed about it.
Nathan 25:32
You were failing to train spiritually.
Steven 25:35
Yeah, yeah you could say that I was idolising physical fitness rather than
Nathan 25:37
So we created Endurance to help him learn better how to balance spiritual and physical training.
Steven 25:45
Yeah, basically.
Nathan 25:48
Because I've already cracked it.
Steven 25:50
No, no.
Nathan 25:52
No?
Steven 25:54
You've got a long way to go yet. So, go check us out.
Nathan 25:58
I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I mean, you're way behind.
Steven 26:01
Cut!
Andy 26:15
Well, I'm working on the video. The audio's working. I nearly fixed it.
Jo 26:23
It's alright for those who are just listening,
Andy 26:24
It's fine. If you're not watching it, it's not a problem. Me watching, this is just, this is terror!
Jo 26:30
But we've got really cool t-shirt looks.
Andy 26:31
We've got cool t shirt. Just a shame that my, my technical skills were a little bit lacking. I obviously need a third tablet. That's the difference!
Jo 26:39
That's the problem.
Andy 26:40
Maybe a fifth computer or something, I don't know. So, this is The Take Away.
Jo 26:44
Yes.
Andy 26:45
When we think about food and reminisce. No, no, no.
Jo 26:47
No, no.
Andy 26:48
When we think about what we're going to take away from today.
Jo 26:51
From What's The Big Deal?
Andy 26:52
Yes. So, what's the big deal for you dear?
Jo 26:54
Well, it's clear from scripture that marriage is important. And it's something we should celebrate, and endorse. And we've basically been extolling the virtues of marriage.
Andy 27:09
Extolling, extolling?
Jo 27:10
Today.
Andy 27:11
It's a doubel L, it should be extoll.
Jo 27:13
We've been celebrating marriage, and no, it's good. Marriage is good! And it's the way to go. And I like that because of we've been doing it for 25 years. So that's all right. We're on the right track.
Andy 27:24
We've had some practice. Yea, so what's, what's your favourite takeaway, then? Not that you've lasted this long? I'll take that one out of your arsenal. But when you think of 25 years of being wed to me, what's the thing that you most, you find most valuable? Having been in this relationship for this long, what do you take away is the most valuable thing to you? What does it give?
Jo 27:47
I suppose is what you were saying earlier about what's really beneficial about marriage is that you get used to each other, you know. You're comfortable with each other. You can sit and not talk or, you know, can you pour out your heart. It's there's just this comfortable? Some of it you take almost for granted. It's there. But, when you're not around, I miss, miss you. And, it's like, oh.
Andy 28:06
Yeah, I'm used to being taken for granted.
Jo 28:08
No! Do you know what I mean? It's just that I think it's only when we do something like this and talk about it. But, do you know what? This is really a nice, comfortable, peaceful place to be, to be in a marriage. And so I think it's what you were saying isn't it? It's, it's that a regular time together, learning about each other. There's still lots more to learn, isn't there, you know!
Andy 28:28
Yep. I feel like I' scratching the surface of you sometimes.
Andy 28:31
And I think I would say that my, my favourite thing along that would be everything you've said, combined, or coupled, with the fact that we're in a contractual relationship. Which, at one level, "Wow you signed a contract. But, actually, that gives me great security 'cos you can't just walk away from me.
Andy 28:49
It made me really sad, actually, about all the recent stuff about easy divorces and stuff. Because there's no such thing as an easy divorce. Even in a horribly abusive relationship, there's no such thing as an easy divorce.
Andy 29:00
I watched it the other day. "Oh, yes, we're the cheapest in the UK. We're only 20 quid." Yeah, but do you understand what you're actually doing? Because it isn't, it isn't just as an easy, quick thing. It's not that simple. You have to extricate two lives apart from each other. And it's really complicated.
Andy 29:16
There are times when a divorce is the only answer. There's, you know, the marriage contract has been ended. Maybe the wife's had a, you know, terrible affair, or she has been, I dunno, physically beating up her husband, or the husband's just completely not committed to the relationship anymore. And, you know, his mistress is his work. And there's no there's no relationshi.
Andy 29:33
When that contract breaks down yeah, okay, maybe a divorce is the only option. But it's never the easy option. And I think that's the thing we need to. That's why we need to celebrate marriages as Christians, and as the church. It's God's design. You know, we ignore it at our peril, quite honestly,
Jo 29:49
But, we're not on our own. God's gonna help us. If He's asked us do it, it means we can do it.
Andy 29:53
yes!
Jo 29:53
And we go to Him and pray about it together.
Andy 29:55
Absolutely.
Jo 29:56
To keep, to keep going.
Andy 29:59
So, there's the Take Away. So, I hope you've enjoyed another Marriage Matters where we discuss, marriage matters, of the marriage, 'cos matters of a marriage matter. I didn't even do my BerryBunch why not thing. Anyway, so we'll be back next week for more.
Jo 30:14
Thanks for joining us.
Andy 30:15
Bye for now.
Jo 30:16
Bye now.
Jo 30:30
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